The Hardest Road
by Metaphorically
Summary: Set a few months after the events of The Last of Us, Joel and Ellie try to live a new life together in Tommy's settlement. And what at first seems like the prime opportunity at a new start, quickly transitions into yet another brutal journey. One that could push Ellie and Joel beyond limits, force them to make harsh choices, and challenge the true strength of their relationship.
1. Prologue

_**"To love is nothing, to be loved by someone is something, but to be loved by the one you love is everything."**_

* * *

A few long months had passed by since Joel and Ellie had arrived to Tommy's small settlement back in Jackson after leaving the Fireflies lab. It was a change of pace for sure after all they had been through. It was much more safe, promising, and very peaceful within Maria and Tommy's little zone; which was heavily guarded and protected, with electricity and other children and families around to boot.

Supplies were always kept up from scavenging, and with fire and wild game in the area, meals were filling and satisfying; everyone was doing their part to keep a steady, stable place that many others didn't have the opportunity of having.

The environment around them was a sight for sore eyes as well, both the golden glow of the sunsets and the bright hue of the sunrises were a calming pleasure to watch, the smell of pine and the abundance of flowers blooming nearby had given everyone a sense of euphoria. Tommy nonetheless, was right. There was place for them here now. However, survivor's guilt still lingers deep within Ellie, just as her immunity to the still infection did.

Although Joel has tried his best to help her move on, it was difficult for a little while. After telling Ellie that lie about the Fireflies and the search for a cure coming to an end had their relationship a bit strained; but Ellie was willing to eventually talk it out with him, even forgive him, and come to terms with it.

He needs her, and she needs him; she understands that more than ever now.

Besides, humanity was already beyond saving at this point anyway.

_Cannibals? Hunters? Murderers? Rapists?_

What good would a vaccine to stop them? They were monsters already.

Within the wide courtyard where most of the kids Maria and Tommy let them play, Ellie runs around feverishly with a worn out football held tightly in her arms, roaring laughter escapes from her lips and fills up the fenced up walls with a calm, nostalgic emotion. Joel laughs as he chases closely behind Ellie, his arms extend out to grab her. The other children watch from the sidelines, while some other children were drawing with chalk and playing cards to pass the time.

Curiously, Ellie's ponytail swings over her small shoulder as she whips her head around to check for Joel, when she saw that he was merely within arm's reach she lets out a boastful screech of both surprise and panic, her legs pick up the pace as she tries to clear the last few yards, but surprisingly, Joel had more energy in a man his age than she thought. His legs pick up even quicker than hers, and within seconds she feels a strong pair of arms wrap around her, picking her up and swinging her around before pulling her in close in a hug-like manner, the ball still held protectively in her grip as she blubbers out a fit of laughter.

"Gotcha kiddo!"

"You're not getting the ball!" Ellie rejects, her knuckles white as she clutches the ball for dear life.

Raising an eyebrow, Joel looks down to her before his one hand loosened his grip on her, his fingers begin to poke her side. Ellie jerks instantly and squirms, laughing louder as she can feel herself lose the grip on the ball the more her stomach tightens. Her emotions are mixed with both entertainment and annoyance.

"I'll seriously punch you!" She manages to croak between the little pokes Joel continues to give her in her side, his face lighting up with laughter as his face contorted into an expression of realizing imminent victory.

"C'mon, give it up!" Joel demands, his face flushed from all his running.

Within seconds of hearing his words, Ellie unwillingly succumbs as the blood began to rush back to her knuckles, the ball falls onto the grass and Joel releases her. She rolls onto the side of the grass, her laughter beginning to subside as she rubs her sides gently.

"You're such a fucking cheater!" She scolds him softly, although she didn't appear angry at it one bit. Her light eyes look at him with that usual softness, and her face appears relaxed as she eases her head onto the field. She had really grown to love him, just as he did for her.

Holding the ball in his hand triumphantly, Joel raises a thick eyebrow at her. "It's not cheating if-"

"-Kids! Come get dinner!" Maria calls, and the door leading into the eating area swings open.

Her voice carries loudly, making the group of children playing on the side erupt into cheers of desperation and excitement, all of them shooting upright and immediately run towards the door in a herd. Maria chuckles softly as she slowly rounds them all up with her arms and eventually leads them all inside. At even the mentioning of food, Ellie was quick to sit up in suit; she turns to Joel with a gentle smile.

"I'm starving." She laughs as she slowly gets back on her feet, casually dusting off her pants.

With a chuckle, Joel slowly follows in her lead as he stands up, his head nodding in agreement, "Yeah, me too."

An upward curve tugs at Ellie's lips, and the two begin to walk across the field back towards the buildings. The sun was in it's early stages of setting as it lowers, peaking ever so slightly beneath the thick brush of the trees, it's orange, warm glow covering the entirety of the town.

Opening the door politely, Joel allows Ellie to walk in ahead of him, just about to follow her closely behind. However, before Joel could even step foot inside, a familiar voice calls his name off to the side for his attention. Turning his head to look, it was revealed to him that it was no other than Tommy.

Joel glances at him briefly before looking back to Ellie; but she already caught onto what he was about to say before she looks at him with understanding.

"Go ahead, i'll wait."

Smiling, Joel acknowledges, mumbling a small "See you soon." to her and closes the door shut. A part of him grew surprisingly anxious as he approaches Tommy, his little brother's expression not seeming entirely content at the present moment; it was odd coming from him.. a little off.

"How's she holdin' up?" Tommy nonchalantly pries as they came face to face, his eyes look to his brother quaintly.

Joel's face hardens a bit at the subject, his posture becomes more firm, and upright.

"She's uh, fine.. she's fine." He tries to say as brief as possible, but Joel then slowly trails off with his next sentance, his voice drops considerably lower, but still retaining it's natural gruffness. "Why, there a problem?"

"Actually there is." Tommy replies swiftly as he puts a firm hand on Joel's shoulder, Tommy motions him along into a walk, and Joel did not protest as he begins to walk freely along side him with his arms crossed.

"And what might that be, little brother?" Joel asks, his eyes looking ahead as they start to walk along the dirt path that led around the buildings. Around a minute had gone by before Tommy had found a small area to chat. Just then, he had stopped dead in his tracks, his hand slides over the radio clipped to his belt, the hair on his head shakes lightly along with his head before he looks around him to make sure it was only him and his brother. Joel shoots him a questioning look as Tommy pulls him even further aside, his voice falling below an almost inaudible whisper.

"It didn't end with the Fireflies, Joel.." His brother reveals, his eyes gazing into his wearisomely. Joel's expression grows blank, and purely dumbfounded.

"The hell are you talkin' about?" He comments with furrowed brows, his features growing harsh and cold; although Tommy remains still.

"Ellie, people are still lookin' for her." Getting closer to his brother's face, Joel's face transitions into a look of defensiveness almost instantly.

"This better not be some kind of joke." He responds bitterly.

Adjusting himself a little bit away from Joel, Tommy runs a hand through his hair, trying to figure out how to word himself.

"Our patrol's picked up information on a group nearby scouting the area for her."

And those few damn words are all Joel has to hear as he rolls his eyes, his boots kicking up some dirt as he fully turns himself around, storming right off in the other direction, almost as if their whole conversation never even began.

Joel didn't anticipate his brother to follow, but to his surprise, he does as he calls out his name from behind several times.

In his mind, Tommy knew Joel wanted to be done with all this talk and speculation on people hunting for Ellie. As a matter of fact, Joel told Tommy that he refused to hear anything related to that subject or anything about a "cure" anymore. The Fireflies were finished in Joel's book, and both Ellie and himself deserved peace.

The two had been through enough together, and they both knew they wouldn't dare go through any of it again - Especially with the strain it had left on their relationship before. Joel had muttered something along the lines of, "You know I don't want to hear it."

None of this though, stops Tommy as he continuously calls out his name as he trails far behind him. Incessantly, Joel continues to only block him out as he headed back to go eat with Ellie with their much deserving quiet.

"Please just be on your guard, alright!?"

That's all Joel vaguely hears as Tommy yells out one last time before his efforts in following, and speaking to him end with finality. The noise of his heavy boots fell quiet and are perceived taking off in another direction. Without another word, Joel brushes the subject off completely and re-focused his thoughts elsewhere.

They were safe now, and nobody could, or would hurt Ellie again.

Not ever again.

Well, at least people, anyway.

Because come later in the evening, Ellie's small form is laying stiff in her and Joel's bed, and still as a board, and it's half because of the exhausting day, and more so of her damned nightmares coming back to haunt her again.

Her eyes stay firmly shut while her uncovered skin is slick with sweat, begging for cool air. She starts tossing and turning, her lips mumbling panicked, incoherent words. Some minutes of this pass of this until Joel, who's mindlessley asleep next to her, finally awakes from her abnormal uproar. His grizzled eyes open wide with a groggy haste, and without the bat on an eyelash, fatherly instincts kicked in almost instantaneously as he sits up and hovers over her.

Without hesitation, he promptly reaches down and grazes her damp cheek with his rough hand, now as softly calling out her name to wake up. Ellie flinches in response. Absentmindedly, Joel rubs the sleep from his eyes, still calling out her name as he did routinely when these attacks would happen, he insists her to wake up, because unfortunately, as he has figured out, forcing her to wake up would only make it worse; he had to wait it out. Joel learnt this the hard way.

And wait it out he does, and for some time he fears he'll end up falling asleep again, but as it always has when these nights would come; it works.

Ellie jolts up from the thick sheets, her eyes filling to the brim with terror and tears as she feverishly looks around the room in panic, but she immediately relaxes when she sees Joel staring at her, looking both relieved and horrified. She's broken out now in a cold sweat and is now shaking in fear before she leans forward into Joel willingly, knowing he's been waiting there this whole time, waiting for her to wake up so he could be there for her.

It's a rather quick dance of movements. Joel pitches forward, arms extending until she was between them, and then, and only then, did they return to hold her in place; swaddling her to his chest tightly, allowing her tears to sink into his shirt.

Immediately he starts whispering words of consoling comfort in an attempt to keep her calm and quiet, and to not wake the other children. Over and over, he tells her that it was only a dream, and that she'll be okay. But God, there was so much more to it than just that. They both know that.

"Listen to me, baby girl," Joel mumbles into her hair, "I'm here, I'm here."

At first, Ellie rebukes with an growl as she tries to escape his grip as he pulls her to him. No, no, she was fucking fine. But his arms wrap tighter around her, refusing to let her go, and it's only then does she finally give in and sink into them.

Her hands grip his shirt tight as she buries her face into his chest, letting the first real cry roll out. His gentle words are reassuring as she trembles, her shoulders quiver and quake as she tries to make one last attempt to keep herself calm before she loses it completely.

"Joel-" She mumbles against him through clenched teeth, little droplets sliding down the bridge of her nose and soaking into his shirt. "I'm so sorry, I'm sorry.."

No words would ever do justice for Ellie, but there's an alternative, one Joel knows that will.

As her sobs roll out softly, Joel starts to softly hum to her a familiar tune he almost thought he's forgotten as he holds her tight, absolutely refusing to let her go until he knew she would be okay to fall back asleep and get through the rest of the night. The song hits close to home, lingering on a part of his past that even though he's come to terms with, still pangs him on the inside. But those days are gone, he tells himself, here and now is what matters. Ellie matters now.

His gruff voice fell softer as he whispers, the sounds coming out of his words acting like a security blanket.

_"You are my sunshine, My only sunshine, You make me happy, When skies are grey, "_

Several minutes pass of this. Just Joel, softly humming and gruffly mumbling this tune.

And thank God he's doing something right because after some time, Ellie's muscles began to relax, and her tears dry and it's nothing but small whimpers following complete silence. Her eyelids flutter shut as she lays still in Joel's arms, every nerve in her was no longer tense, and she was finally okay again. But even shortly after she's fallen back asleep, Joel decides to not stop right there. He just continues to sit there, starting to hum the next lines of the old tune, just holding her.

_"You'll never know dear,_

_How much I love you,"_

Smoothing his hand down Ellie's back, Joel can only smile to himself as he releases her from his arms and lays her back down onto the bed gently, until she was back in her covers, which he re-adjusts so she was fully covered and warm. It was in that moment, Joel was unable to move, and instead, can only look down at her with eyes that say more than he'll ever allow with the pleasure of words.

She's strong, but she's still a kid,

And sometimes the both of them forget that.

_"Please don't take my sunshine, away."_


	2. Fireflies

_**"Here is the world we live in now, beautiful and terrible things will happen.. just don't be afraid."**_

* * *

The sun has long since expired to envelope the world in it's time of darkness, the dying embers of the campfire outside have almost faded completely out by now. So absolute silence fills the walls of the settlement, only the occasional, brief whistling of gentle wind rolling in through the cracked windows, and the swaying of the thick leaves on tree branches can be heard in the distance. The wildlife of the day were no longer out aimlessly walking, and the creatures of the night either walk on shadowed feet or have all gone back to their meadows or caves.

There were no voices anymore, no nothing - just quiet.

It's been around an hour since Joel manages to get a distraught Ellie and himself back to sleep, which the two both needed to catch up on; then again, who didn't in the stressful world they participated in living in. Now, the two had dozed back off in their bed; a blissful quiet lingering between them as they slept. Moonlight seeps into the windows, lighting up the room with a faint glow. Their journey had taken it's toll, and left imprints and mindsets in the two of them that originally were have never thought to be there before. At what first was a simple task for a bag of guns in an exchange for a drop-off became a more twisted, complicated story.

A story, that still, goes without saying, means so much more than what it seems to be. Maybe it all had been for nothing. But peaceful moments like these? That said otherwise.

And of course, it was a peaceful moment that seems to be cut short. The innocence that lingers within the settlement, and the serene environment was bitterly diffused with the ear-cracking sound of an alarm that sputters over the entire community vociferously, shattering any chance for more minutes of that must-deserved peace. Wait.. an alarm?

Joel shoots up, his eyes going wide at the echoing, high-pitched cacophony. He certainly wasn't the only one to be unpleasantly awoken, as just then, the voices of others quickly erupt from down the halls; sounds of panic, and worry. Ellie was fast to be torn from her slumber as well. Within moments, she's up, rubbing her bleary eyes; and is just as perplexed as she sees a familiar silhouette, whom she confirms right away was Joel as he rushes over to put on his backpack like second nature, his trusted revolver is opened by the cylinder, which is unsurprisingly loaded with all six bullets already.

Ellie's eyebrows raise as her ears tune into the noises in the background. What the hell is going on?

"Joel?" She questions as she sits herself up, blinking to make her eyes adjust.

Snapping his head to look at her, she couldn't see as his face softens with tenderness. "Ellie, I need you to stay here." He instructs, but it comes off as more of a command than anything.

Crinkling her nose, Ellie reaches over and flicks on the small lamp that sat on the nightstand, the room filling up with a warm light, and Joel finally came into full view, and she could see the battle-ready, hardened expression painted across his face.

"Why? What's—" "Those fuckin' Fireflies! They've broken through!" Tommy's staticed voice bellows through a radio that rests on a drawers near the front door.

"Wh- Fireflies? Why are they attacking us?" Ellie asks, somewhat confused, but she has an idea of why they might just be here.

Joel ignores her as he immediately storms forward, taking the small radio in his hands, adjusting the signal before holding the button down to call through.

"Tommy, where the hell are you?!" Joel grits out, then there's a cracking noise, then the sound of heavy gunfire cuts through the other end of the radio, faint screams and calls echo before the radio just falls quiet. Too damn quiet.

"Goddamn, I fucking knew it!" Joel sneers as he clips the radio to the side of his jeans, he knows he'll need it.

Reaching under her bed, Ellie grabs her backpack and clumsily swings it around her shoulders, she's about to reach for her gun when another loud blast that shook the windows this time catches her eye, the glow of fire grows, and it's fucking everywhere now. The sounds of gunshots multiplied, and also kept growing louder. Without delay, Ellie darts over to the window, and her eyes grow wide with concern as she sees one of the other gated entrances, the patrol on that side desperately attempt to avoid fire by ducking behind crates, and in retaliation, shoot back at the groups of former ex machina Fireflies that continue to make their way through. Goddamn, they're persistent. These weren't the Fireflies she remembers anymore.

The patrol seem to be holding their own, at least until a faint object flies through the air, and with a loud smash of glass as it hit the ground, a large burst of fire lit the four patrol men guarding one of the buildings on fire, their screams blood-curdling for several, agonizing seconds before they finally fall to the ground in a bloody, burning heap; the flame licking their clothes as it singed them.

"What the fuck!?" Ellie yells, her distressing eyes watching as all the families are rounded up, being covered by the ongoing gunfire as they're led like sheep out the back of the settlement, seemingly to head into the woods for shelter. Shit, just shit.

Both parents and children are in their pajamas, completely stunned as they're forced to run away from everything they've come so long and far to have. The children are crying as their equally hysteric parents try their best to keep them calm. Then again, at least they had a plan.

Well, heading into the back woods was it, and Tommy and Maria had always told everyone time and time again that if things ever got bad, whether if it was them somehow being overrun by infected or hunters, they'd have a plan of escape. Although nobody ever expected anything like this - at least not now.

Turning to Joel, Ellie shoots him a startled glance as she motions to the window, revealing the chaos ensuing outside.

"Joel, we gotta help them!"

He opens his mouth to reply, but nothing comes out as another loud blast shakes the foundation of the building, like a hole was just blown in it's sides. Screams of more families come and pass, and the commands of the patrol and others running the settlement try to round up every single person building by building.

Looking back to Ellie, Joel nods, "Exactly what i'm gonna do-"

"I'm not letting you go all by yourself!" Ellie protests, but Joel's quick to do the same. If she even thinks he's going to get her a chance to get hurt.. she's beyond wrong.

"We need to get you and the others out of here and into the forest 'till we clear this place out."

The front door to their room abruptly swings open, the worn hinges almost flying off their damned handles with the hard force. And it's a man, who appears to be some other patrol guarding the gate it seems, standing there with blood stains on his vest as he grips a handgun tightly in his hand, the last of the families behind him rush towards the exit doors.

"We're being overrun! Everyone is being taken to the back exit into the woods." He explains, and his voice is quick, strained, almost unsure.

"The hell you mean overrun?" Joel asks as he approached the door, there was no fucking way- "How many are there?"

Shaking his head, the man waves him and Ellie towards the doors, "Too many!"

Joel didn't move an inch, and could only kept a tight hold on the grip of his revolver stubbornly. "We can't hold this place down?"

"Look man we don't have time for questio-"

The crack of the gun going off down the hall splits the air, and it was quick, nobody could even blink, and the bastard couldn't even react before a bullet quickly shot clean through the side of the his skull, and blood mist briskly follows before he falls right over onto the floor, motionless, fucking dead, with a spreading pool of blood quickly starting to form underneath his cheek.

"Christ." Joel breaths, backing up, turning to Ellie he sees her expression matches his identically. It's not safe, it's not fucking safe anymore.

Unfamiliar voices call to each-other down the hall. By now, every vacant room was most likely being ransacked for it's supplies, which the sound of pairs of boots kicking down thin wood had proven.

"How the hell are we getting out of here?" Ellie asks Joel. And shit, judging by how he's holding that gun, they were going to have to fight their way out.

That seems like suicide.

Shaking her head, Ellie protests. "We're going to get killed!"

_"FIND THAT FUCKING GIRL!" _And it's a voice that's stern, commanding. He doesn't sound like he's wanting to negotiate either.

Ellie perks up at hearing it, but a distinctive clunk of an object hits the side of the window pane and calls Ellie's and Joel's attention instead, immediately, the two turn around to look, but in those first milliseconds, there was nothing. Then it's the sudden crack of an ignition going off that follows, a blast making the window to shatter and blowing the window panes off, taking little pieces of the wall down with it.

The force doesn't even flinch when it throws Ellie backward, knocking her flat on her back, pieces of small debris landing around her. Everything seems slow for Joel for the first few seconds as he sits crouched down, blinking to readjusting his vision. His ears ring in repercussions as the blast took him off guard. Smoke and dust clung around in the air, and Ellie lets a a strained cough as Joel rushes over to her aid.

"Oh, what the fuck." Ellie mutters with pursed lips, almost sounding annoyed as her ears ringing while she sits herself back up.

"Are you okay?" Joel coughs, his sleeve meeting her nose and wiping off some fresh blood.

Ellie can't even reply for a second, so instead she retorts with a sarcastic laugh through a pained sigh.

Even in the worst of times, she still has that part of her left and it might just end up being the death of Joel.

"They're coming." She mutters, now covered in dust as Joel manages to get her slowly back up on her feet, but he's frowning. He looks to her and then to the door.

Fucking shit, they're coming closer, and there's no time left to dwell on.

"We need to haul ass," Joel grits, "C'mon!"

Without a second thought, he pulls Ellie close and grabs her hand, now using the freshly made hole in the wall as a way out.

Pulling her along, Joel makes a swift turn directly to the right, beginning to navigate towards the exit amidst everything going on around them, and Jesus, it was just fucking chaotic.

But why?

Ellie looks around at the situation unfolding as he trails closely along behind him. Several bodies litter the ground at this point, and she was unable to tell which were the raiders, and which were their fellow survivors. Flames lick the buildings, and the voices of the apparent raiders are still audible, even from afar.

After several quick turns between buildings, they made it, they actually made it to the final stretch of the exit, gunfire continues to go off around them, and the families run alongside in suit, children crying as they hold their parent's hands as they make the last sprint to safety. Whatever was left of the patrol somehow manage to pull something out of their ass and hold off the majority of the attackers while Ellie, Joel, and the others grasped the opportunity to get away.

Reaching the gate, and much to Joel's surprise, Tommy was there waiting; still in one piece. But he did not look one bit relieved. The remainder of the patrol half-ass it in a dash to the exit, but nonetheless, make a successful sprint to it anyway. Together they forcefully press against the large steel gates that led into their settlement, closing it tightly shut before they too had run off ahead to join the others; the sound of bullets ricocheting off of the doors created an uncomfortable atmosphere.

At seeing Joel, however, Tommy storms forward, his eyes narrow in respite. He looks twenty different shades of pissed.

"You never listen to me, goddammit!" He seethes, before he shoots a glare and points a finger in a scold to Ellie. "They did this because of you!"

Ellie's posture hardens in defense and her eyebrows knit together, "Hey fuck you," She snaps, "I didn't ask for th-"

Putting an arm in front of Ellie, Joel lets out a low grumble. "This isn't the time. We need to move.. _now._"

Strained, and with all his remaining energy, Tommy had restraint is holding back his pent-up emotions, and he could only glare the duo for several more seconds before he darted off in the other direction, going to follow Maria and figure out where they had to go from here now. Although the conversation he started was far from over, that much was certain. People were lost too damn quick, their community was attacked, then overrun.

That's exactly when Ellie knew, that things can only go downhill from here.


	3. Reiteration

**_"In this world, there is always danger for those who are afraid of it."_**

* * *

It was dozens.

Dozens of families that are huddling in small groups together in the make-shift shelter they had made in the depth of the dark, placid woods. Luckily, the weather wasn't a problem this night, just the continuous calm wind that never ceased to make itself known; although that could change at any moment, and everyone knew they couldn't be out here forever.

But everyone also knew that that the weather or current conditions they were forced into weren't exactly the biggest worries right now. Many people were crying and mourning due to their sudden losses, whether it was family members, or friends; majority of the children still clung to their parents in fright. All within an hour, so much had changed for everybody that they didn't even know how to react.

Alongside, a little ways out of the camp, bickering between Joel and Tommy has now gone on for roughly about an hour, and judging by how they were going at it, it didn't seem like their arguing would come to a close.

"-I will not let you put this on Ellie's conscience!" Joel barks, his hands curling up into fists as his eyes glare at his brother's in that dimmed, drowned out moonlight.

Tommy retaliates in a mimicked stare with equal intensity and discontent.

"If it's not on her, then it's on _you_!" Tommy spits with a sharp tongue, before sucking in more breath to spew additional words out.

"I fucking told you there were Fireflies lookin' for her, they weren't just any raiders!"

Joel scoffs. "Well what in the hell was I supposed to do, tell them to go away?"

"You sure as hell could've listened to me when I warned you!"

"Because that would have prevented all this?"

This response cut Tommy's efforts at getting his thoughts through short. Although, Joel did have a point, but that didn't stop Tommy from being pissed or angry at the fact his brother didn't even acknowledge his suspicions earlier before they had lost so many people.

"I'm sending a group out later on tonight to try to find out what the hell's going on." Tommy finalizes vaguely as he turns around, his boots kicking up some dirt and dried leaves as he begins to stride off.

"It isn't safe here." He grits out, "We need a plan."

That was the last Tommy had said before he went off, still ready to explode his dismayed emotions at the next person like a burning fuse.

Joel says nothing else in reply as he watches his brother's back fade into the bushes as he heads back to camp.

He was pissed, but he wasn't the only one here who was upset.

Mumbling curses to himself, it wasn't long before Joel followed closely behind, trying to resist contemplating some of what his brother had told him.

Back at the campsite however, Ellie is laying in a small blanket that one of the survivor's had let her lend, humming small tunes to herself as her eyes look up at the stars that weren't completely covered by the abundance of tree leaves. There weren't many blankets that were brought from the town, so a lot of people were forced to share, some didn't mind the fact on sleeping on the grass or dirt for the night.

After-all, it could have been much, much worse.

After some minutes, she finally hears Joel's distinctive footsteps a few feet beside her, she slides herself slightly over, knowing she'd have to share the blanket with him. She seemed particularly quiet, and to herself this evening, and that wasn't just because of the events of earlier. Ever since what happened during the Winter, Ellie wasn't the same, and she knew that - but who could honestly blame her?

There were times where she'd be outspoken like she was, and could crack jokes and have moments of peace. That part of her couldn't die as long as she tried; but in that burning restaurant, that mixture of bitter lust and malice that burned in David's eyes; the way he tried to force himself on her, trying to manipulate her. His bloody, mangled face after she swung, once, twice, three times more into his face with that machete. Her mind couldn't forget it.

It was safe to say alot of her innocence died there and then.

Earlier on too, proved, that the chaos, and the danger was never out of arm's reach. Death was always lurking around every opportune corner.

She couldn't get away.

Because even in sleep, those fucking nightmares _always_ reminded her too.

"Hey, kiddo." Joel greets quietly as he lays down beside to her.

"Hey." She responds quietly.

And after a few moments, Joel just knew something was up.

"I know what happened earlier was rough." He begins, scratching his beard nonchalantly. "But everyone's hurting right now."

Ellie shakes her head, her frown deepening. "It's not just that, it's-" She stops with a sigh, she turns onto her side so her back is facing to Joel. "Nevermind."

Furrowing his brows, Joel decides to pry a bit further as he places a hand on her shoulder, indicating he didn't want the conversation to end.

"Ellie, you know you can talk to me about anythin-"

"This is all happening because of me." Ellie pries quickly, veering off the topic that in her mind still wanted to be given attention.

Joel draws his hand away from Ellie, and his shoulders slump slightly, "Now that ain't true-"

"Yeah it is, and you know it." She retorts quickly, leaving Joel feeling slightly defeated.

He turns his head slightly over his shoulder, he sees Tommy speaking with Maria, most likely about their current situation and where they needed to go from here. Joel's eyes shift back to Ellie, her back was no longer facing him, her emerald eyes gazed intently into his, awaiting an answer.

"Tommy's going to send out a group soon, to see what's goin' on and maybe figure out a plan."

"Okay." Was all she mutters before she closes her eyes, but she didn't even look remotely close to being tired. More or less it seemed like she just wanted to shut everyone out, even Joel; but this wasn't exactly the first time she's done that to him either.

Laying now on his back, Joel's eyes looked upward, just gazing at the silhouette of the trees, his optimism nudged at him, and that's when he let out a small chuckle.

"I still have to teach you guitar, y'know?"

He turns to look at Ellie, and just his luck, a small smile forms at her lips, but she swiftly forces it back down into a frown.

Joel pretends to look surprised, as she hugs, "Did you just smile? Now ain't that rare."

Ellie weakly chuckles at hearing this, but she's weary to keep it.

"Shut up. Stop." She warns as she turns her back to him again, but a strong arm suddenly swings over her side, pulling her close into a fatherly embrace.

"Do I need to take drastic measures?" He warns, referring to her absolute hatred of tickling; immediately Ellie swats his hand away.

"Do I need to punch you in the face?" She retorts.

Joel chuckles, and Ellie laughs again.

After some time, it then falls quiet a bit, the two lying close together to keep warm as the breeze picks up. It also gives Ellie a sense of security as Joel huddles close behind her. By now, several families fell asleep around the fire, the others who were still awake chatted briefly and ate whatever cans of food they had scavenged. Tommy and Maria are also no longer to be seen, having most likely gone to bed too. After all that, everyone deserved whatever rest they could muster.

For Joel and Ellie, they just lay there, not asleep, just relaxed, the ambient sounds pick up in the background, until they are metaphorically crushed by Ellie.

"I've always wanted to go to an amusement park you know."

Joel smiles behind her.

"That a fact?"

"Yeah, they look fucking cool." Ellie adds, "And even if they don't work, i'd still like to at least see one."

"Hmm." Joel murmurs softly.

"Did you ever go to one.. before all this?" Ellie asks him as she lays still, her back still against him.

"'Course I did."

"Could you tell me about it?"

Joel smiles yet again, and he readjusts himself to get comfortable before he begins to go into his mode of story-telling, although it wasn't that long into his tale before Ellie fell asleep next to him, her arm resting underneath his, which laid protectively over her. Joel's lips met her forehead, and he pressed a small kiss there. Drawing back, his fingers brushed away some stray hair out of her face before he went back to resting his head comfortably behind hers.

"Goodnight, baby-girl."

* * *

Morning.

Was it morning?

It definitely was when the sudden, harsh feeling of a boot lightly kicking his back that rips Joel from his sleep, and his eyes shot open to see the sun on his face.

Gruffly, he rolls over to sit up, being careful as to not wake Ellie when he felt her shift beside him.

Blinking slowly, he takes in the beaming sunlight peeking through the trees, his body then visibly relaxes when he sees that it was none other than Tommy, who looks down at him with a concerned, and slightly agitated look across his aging features.

"I need to talk to you." He urges.

Joel nods compliantly, trying to remain as quiet as possible as he gets up on his feet, but not before he turns to Ellie, readjusting his jacket over her so she was fully covered. Smiling at her curled up form, he quickly kisses her forehead. Joel regains his gruff, stern composure as he follows closely behind Tommy, who leads them back to the area where they had their little discussion earlier on last night... _good times._

Pressing his back against the tree, Tommy runs his hands through his dirty blonde hair as he sighs.

"Three of our guys found a lone Firefly out in the woods last night, probably not the only one though."

Joel crosses his arms, eyebrows raised.

"And?" He asks tiredly.

"_And_, we caught the bastard and squeezed every piece of information he had out of him."

Visibly intrigued, Joel straightens up, "Well, what'd he say?"

Tommy's eyes look around him, checking to see if anybody else was looking or watching. Seeing now that the coast was clear, he leans forward.

"After you killed Marlene, the remaining Fireflies banded together, makin' some kind of group on their own." Tommy explains in a whisper, his eyes gazing into Joel's as they filled with interest.

"After what happened back in Salt Lake City, what was left of em' relocated to another base of theirs in Charlotte, North Carolina."

"Then why the hell are all of them out here?" Joel questions with narrow eyes.

"Because, they know who you are and what you did to Marlene, Joel." Tommy shoots back, before his head nudges towards Ellie's sleeping form.

"More importantly, they know about her, they're gonna tear every place apart 'till they have her and you're dead brother."

Shaking his head, Tommy sighs yet again, his back still pressed firmly against the trees.

"They'll also kill_ us_ if they know you're both here."

Joel had to stand there for a moment, just staring blankly at his brother as he processed all this information. He thought it ended with Marlene, that putting a bullet in her head would end the chase, but it was all looking up to be the same shit all over again. People in this world could be resilient, desperate, and fucking persistent. It didn't matter, they wouldn't come near Ellie, let alone look at her so long as Joel was still breathing. They would never, ever get to hurt her or come after her anymore, he would never allow it to slip by again. He promised her, he promised himself.

"It doesn't do a damn bit of good knowin' that they've been re-building their forces neither." Tommy adds, but perks up, his shoulders tilt off the tree.

"What about the guy you got this information from?"

Tommy shrugs. "Killed him once we had what we needed, didn't want him running back to his friends."

A curt moment of silence sat between them, before Tommy let out a cough, shaking the quiet air.

"Now do you want the good news?" He offers, his tone lifting lightly.

Joel scoffs, "Good news?"

Tommy nods. "A buddy of mine, Vincent, he's runnin' a crew of his own down in Louisiana."

"What kind of crew?" Joel asks skeptically.

"A crew of recruits, ain't nothin' like these former Fireflies, but it's gotta count for something." His brother expresses hopefully as he adjusts his belt.

"Now, from what I know they're all held up in a town like our own, or so he told me last time before we split, said if I ever needed a hand, I should go to him."

"So now what?" Joel retorts. "We run off to him and hope to God when we find him he'll help us?"

These were all the typical doubts Joel gave Tommy, but this idea was better than nothing at all; at least it gave them all an opportunity to have somewhat of a chance. And if it meant getting Ellie away from this mess and keeping her safe, Joel wouldn't hesitate to do whatever it took.

"Do you want to take a risk, or prefer to stay here until they find us, kill us and take Ellie?" Tommy snaps back, his stance growing firm.

Joel takes a few steps back, his arms cross at he took the silence in the air to contemplate his choices, but in reality, what choices were there? It seemed pretty self explanatory. He had to do this. If not just for Ellie, then also all the families who were thrusted into these circumstances against their will; but who knew what kind of challenges another task like this would bring. It didn't matter - at least he knew he wouldn't be facing them alone. Still, it all felt like deja vu, and Joel knew damn well better than anybody that none of it was going to be a walk in the park.

"When do we leave?" Joel asks in admittance. He watches as Tommy perks up to agree with him, but his shoulders quickly slouch.

"Not _we._" Tommy corrects. "You and Ellie need to get a head start. There'll be less trouble if we don't all travel in a big group and you guys aren't caught with us."

His hands then motion to the group sitting around the small campfire. "I gotta wrangle em' all up, and take care of a few things before we head off."

"Joel?" A small, familiar voice calls from afar.

Naturally knowing who it was, Joel turns to see Ellie now on her feet, yawning, she fully stretches out her arms before she strolls off in the opposite direction of where he was to look for him. Joel smiles at seeing her before he turns back to Tommy, and he could already see the look in his eyes that time was wasting, and that they needed to move.

"I think you better tell her and get yourselves ready for the road."

"Are you sure Maria, you and everyone are gonna be okay without us?"

Tommy laughs, almost feeling offended at his statement as he kicks up some dirt with his boot.

"We aren't completely hopeless without you guys here."

Nodding, Joel looks over to Ellie again, a small frown gracing his lips. "I guess I should go tell her the news."

Tommy gives his older brother a look of reassurance. "Well, you two did it once, I'm sure you can do it again."

And with that, his brother marches off once more to tend to the others, leaving a mentally overwhelmed Joel alone to his thoughts yet again.

They barely made it halfway across the country once, could they really do it again?

Guess they'd have to find out.


	4. Don't Let Go

_**"You and I are more than just you and I, because it's we."**_

* * *

They were already off to a bad fucking start.

Only a few miles out from the settlement, and Ellie and Joel already ran into a large group of Hunters scouting a nearby area for whoever knows what, but it didn't matter, because to Joel's and Ellie's poor timing, he was only able to take out a few when they were spotted and detected by all the others, quickly overrun by their groups, and forced to make a break for it down a steep hill and into hiding until the scouts had decided to give up and leave.

Although, that wasn't an easy feat either, and after barely escaping, Ellie's feet lazily tripped over some fucking thing, giving her a badly strained ankle, and a rough tumble downside the hill, which ended with an ungraceful land into a patch of thick, mossy underbrush. That itself left it up to Joel to carry her the rest of the way, hushing her so her whimpering and vulgar mouth didn't alert the Hunters and allow them to follow in their tracks.

Once they knew they were safe, and because the sun was already starting to set, Joel took Ellie and himself into a small cave formation underneath a cliff side for shelter. Setting his flashlight on the ground, his eyes focus right on Ellie as he helps sit her up by propping her back up against the rocky wall. She groans and curses under her breath at the throbbing aching up and around her foot.

"I know it hurts." Joel consoles, trying his hardest to take off her right shoe carefully, but to no avail as Ellie squirms and curses with discomfort.

"O-ow, fuck, Joel.." She whines.

"Think of it this way." Joel says with a slumped shoulder and a raised eyebrow, "It_ could_ be worse."

He proceeds to slide off her dirty sock, closely examining the damage. It didn't seem too severe, mild swelling, and a muscle was clearly strained. Nothing some bandaging, rest, and elevation couldn't fix. Although, Joel knew they couldn't stay here until she fully recovered, it wasn't safe, and they had to keep on the move if those Hunters decided to come back, which, in knowing their ways, they most certainly would.

Ellie nods in agreement, but that didn't stop her continued, yet occasional grumble and curse is a fit of pain, she tries so damn hard to hold her foot still, and Joel looks up to her with hopeful eyes.

"Endure and survive, remember?" Joel reminds her of her mantra.

His eyes grow warm as she looks to him, that typical faint smile flashing across her mucked up face. Truth be told, that motto always rang through her head over a hundred times a day, mentally she looked back to the days when Joel used to think it was such a stupid catchphrase simply because she had gotten it from a comic book. Then again, those were the very comic books, that he also hated at first, but eventually ended up going out of his way to find just for her.

It was that very realization that the two of them had changed so drastically over that year-long span of time that still now, causes her heart to well up and make her stomach feel uneasy every time she thinks about it. Because now that they had eachother, they were afraid to lose one another. They both came from nothing at first, but through everything, together, they managed to find something, something worth fighting for.

They had endured together, and survived together, and they'd continue to do it everyday until it somehow ended.

"Endure and survive." Ellie repeats confidently as she tries to hold her foot still.

Smiling back, Joel slid the backpack off of his shoulders and unzips the zipper, grabbing several bandages. There was no more medicine left for pain, and there was clearly no ice anywhere anymore to help with the swelling; but, it was better than plain old nothing.

"I wish I had something for the pain." Joel says apologetically as he begins to unravel the bandages and begins to wrap her foot, making Ellie flinch with an accompanied yelp, but Joel forcefully kept her foot in place by holding her shin so she couldn't hurt herself any further.

"I'm sorry." He confides in immediate regret to causing her pain, but continues to wrap the bandage around her foot anyway. It'd be worse if he didn't.

Ellie lets out a shaky sigh before she shakes her head, mentally cursing as Joel wraps the bandage tighter, and more securely.

"It's nothing." She brushes off. It's a distasteful, white lie, which is clear in her tone.

After a few minutes, Joel successfully bandages her foot and uses her backpack to keep her ankle raised. If a bad ankle wasn't already a problem enough, then the cold chill that starts to pick up and give the two of them a taste of mother nature's bitchy side was. Standing up, Joel doesn't stop when he begins to make a pile of tree bark, sticks and branches, and whatever else that could be scavenged to kindle a fire.

"We're gonna need a fire to stay warm, I think it might rain tonight." He inquires, lifting his chin up to see the thick, and large dark clouds that gradually form together in the distance. Shifting her bottom uncomfortably, Ellie lets out a small chuckle as she rubs her eyes with her jacket sleeve, already feeling beyond exhausted.

"I'd help, but I'm a fucking cripple now." She jokes, but it follows with a groan as she absentmindedly tilts her bad ankle too much for comfort.

"Hey, hey, try not to move so much, yeah?" Joel warns. He pulls out a pack of matches from his bag that Tommy had given him a few days ago. To his misfortune, Joel sees that there's only four left, so he'd have to use them sparingly, and now was definitely one of those times, but hey, at least Tommy didn't leave him with shit-all.

Slowly, but surely, within a few minutes he starts up a fire. It's small, but it's enough. It crackles lively and it's smoke and ashes swirl around in the air, the orange glow of the flame beginning to warm the surrounding air. Now, the wind could only feed the fire as its flames remain steady and constant. Joel props his back up against the wall of rock and sits closely beside Ellie, who outstretches her hands to feel the warmth of the fire.

"How far is Louisiana, Joel?"

Joel's lips curve into a half-hearted smile with the shrug of his shoulder, "It ain't close, we gotta long way ahead of us."

Ellie sighs to herself, she mumbles. "I'm making this happen all over again."

Joel turns to her, a frown now dawning on his face. "This ain't on you." He says, and Ellie snorts, "Of course it's never on me. It never is."

"It ain't." Joel replies, this time more sternly as his eyes still fixate on her as she glares into the fire.

"People don't know how to let things go, but you deserve a chance to live a good life."

Ellie turns and sees his hand brush over his watch lightly, the words giving him a small idea of what Sarah should of had too, but didn't. The thoughts of his daughter then faded and retreated into the back of his mind where he felt they belonged. Ellie slunks down a little.

"I don't think I do." She admits guiltily.

"Ellie-"

"I'm sorry, i'm just.. tired."

She knows when her mood shifts, and her damned guilt began to nip at her conscience again, she felt like Joel's words had some merit, but after all she's done, and the other people who she believed deserved to live more instead of her said otherwise. But maybe there was a reason she was here and they weren't, a bigger picture to everything that maybe she couldn't see yet. Maybe there was some truth, some reason behind this guilt she held on to.

Does everything happen for a reason?

An undesirable flash of David comes in her mind, that disgusting look on his fucking face from when they first met and in the last second before she hacked it off. Physically, she gets a chill, but she's quick as she pushes those reoccurring thoughts aside, and tilts her head back to close her eyes. She hears Joel sigh, because he could tell that it wasn't a lack of sleep, but a lack of hope and happiness that made her act the way she did.

"Rest up then, we'll see if you can try walkin' in the morning."

That was all he could say without bringing anything else up, he didn't want to make her feel worse, anything but that.

"Alright." Ellie mumbles simply before she becomes silent, and within minutes she quickly succumbs to the call sleep.

It wasn't long before Joel did too, and the ambient, crackling of the fire became the only noise between them.

* * *

_It was dark._

_Really dark._

_At least, at first, __like a void of nothing, but eventually, everything had faded in, like a scene from a movie._

_This place now seemed all too familiar to Joel._

_It was when he was placed in the middle of a long, shadowy hallway did he finally feel the urge to run and not stop, and the voices behind him called out for him. After hearing them call for him, and noticing his surroundings, did Joel realize where he was._

_He was in the Firefly hospital back in Salt Lake City, and dozens of Fireflies behind him pursued in his footsteps._

_He was panting, sweating, he had no guns in his hand, not even his backpack as he sprinted as fast as his legs would allow him down the long hallway and to a room that seemed to be his main focus, he didn't know why he wanted, or had to be there so bad, but once he opened the door, he realized why._

_It was Ellie, and she was lying on the operating table in a hospital gown, doctor's in scrubs standing all around her, their eyes attentively focused._

_Although, this time it was different._

_An unbearable pain in his heart ripped him down, and his knees buckled as he watched, horrified, as she stood there watching as doctor's with various tools were cutting through her head, and into her brain for that fucking vaccine they wanted to make - and probably all for themselves._

_She was dead, and no, no, no._

_He was too late. Too fucking late._

_It didn't play out this way, it didn't. There's no way-_

_The blank, emotionless expression sweep over his face as the realization of the moment gradually seeped in. The fear seemed to rise behind his red, teary eyes. Like a caged animal, he's idle. Paralyzed by the feeling of sudden isolation and tragic failure. __Tears are rushing down his cheeks, he tried to move but he was frozen, he screamed out in bitter agony and ferocity, but the doctor's couldn't even hear him, let alone notice him as they continued to pick and pry at Ellie's head like it was a play-toy. _

_A fucking experiment._

_He felt the force of a Firefly behind him firmly grab his shoulders, his strength apparently being no match to his as he was unwillingly dragged out of the room and shoved onto the tiled floor. His eyes hazy with tears. Just when his eyes looked up, he saw the barrel of the man's rifle pointing directly at him. __He lost._

_Before he could even react or move away, he heard the sound of the gunshot ring out before he was thrusted back into nothing but blackness._

* * *

Jesus.

Joel's eyes dart wide open as he jerks, awaking with a cold sweat, and his eyes force themselves to focus as he notices he's laying down in the cave, the sounds of the grass and the trees vague in the distance. Thank fucking God, he's not in the Firefly hospital, he's not dead, he's in the damn woods.

Silently, he whispers to himself in relief that it was only another fucking nightmare that plagued them. But just because it was a dream, didn't take away at the realism of how it really felt, how damn terrifying it was.

What if it actually happened that way? What if he never did get to her in time? His frantic thoughts halt when he feels Ellie huddle close behind him. Immediately, he flips around and takes in her features. Her breathing was steady, and her face was gentle in her sleep as it always was.

She wasn't dead, or cut open, she was asleep, and she was fucking safe. The sudden feeling of just calm washed over him once more, and in a fit of dismay he pulls her close into his chest slowly, being mindful of her injured foot. Normally, he was the one who did this for her when she had nightmares, but now it was him who needed her. Just the very thought of losing her too made his heart ache.

"You're alright." And Joel recognizes this fully as he cradles her tight against him, just physically unable to let go. He can't lose another fucking daughter, not again, and sure as hell not like this."

He repeats it a million times over in his head for good measure, trying to reassure himself as he continues to press her close, almost as if she was a fragile object that needed to be shielded from the rest of the world; hidden, protected, and always safe. Several minutes of this goes by before Joel manages to fully re-collect himself, but he still continues to hold Ellie, just to keep the lingering reminder that as long that she was with him, she'd never get hurt, or get taken away.

Tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear, Joel tugs a small, hopeful smile, and manages to whisper a small phrase, that although Ellie knew he meant it on the rare occasions he told her, was never said as often as as he should.

"Ellie-" Joel mumbles, putting his chin on the top of her head, "I'm sorry, babygirl."

He was sorry for everything. Sorry for all this guilt she had to constantly carry, sorry for all the shit she had to deal with, sorry for him always being selfish and cruel even though it was necessary to survival. There's so much meaning behind it when Joel apologizes, and he knew that Ellie understood that just as much as he did. And to his surprise, he's taken aback when he hears a small voice beneath him speak up.

"It's okay, Joel."


	5. Paths

_**"The most deceitful people always seem the most innocent."**_

* * *

The warmth of the sun was blaring down on the Earth, and with the mixture of the occasional cool breeze rolling by it made for a pretty nice day, at least Ellie liked to think so as she treads happily along-side Joel, her gun in one hand and her joke book in the other as they slowly stroll down the cracked, mossy green sidewalk of a long-since vacant neighborhood.

By now Ellie's ankle was fully healed, and they had managed to easily make it just past the border of Wyoming and back into Colorado, which struck the memories of when they first came here to find the Fireflies. The thought of when Joel got impaled back at the University a few months back made the scarred spot where the rebar originally went through throb; but he quickly forgot about it as Ellie's contagious laughs echo in the quiet air.

To him, it made him happy, because today, out of the rare few, her happiness was genuine, and nothing bothered her.

"Okay, okay. This one's good!" She starts, already cracking laughs.

"Let's hear this terrible one." Joel replies in amusement.

"Oh hush," Ellie retorts, letting out a few more chuckles before pausing for emphasis.

"Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got off?" She then asks, trying to stifle her small fits of laughter.

Joel shrugs, "No, why?"

Ellie grows a shit-eating grin ear to ear. "He's _all right_ now."

Joel's eyes roll, and he lets himself roll out a chuckle that came in sync with Ellie's lighter, longer laugh.

"Okay, I've never heard that one before, that was pretty good."

Ellie does an over-enthusiastic bow mid-step, "Thank you, thank you."

It was innocent, and positive moments like these that made the journey easier. The fact that they had hardly spotted, or ran into any Infected today made it all the better, and the same could be said for Hunters. Generally peaceful, with just the usual chatter and playful banter between them, which by now, the two had come to love and enjoy doing; it also killed time and gave them something to do while they trekked across all this territory. It was much different travelling this time around.

Going out of her way, Ellie picks up several things off the side of the roads and in garbage bins. Things like rags, broken scissors, and the other odds and ends that Joel would use to craft his typical items for the runs in with combat.

Sliding her backpack off her shoulders, Ellie tucks her joke book back in there, along with the other supplies she collected, her emerald green eyes glance up to Joel as he starts to scavenge in another garbage bin close next to her.

"If you think I'm not gonna tell you more later, you're wrong." She announces proudly, another smile dawning on her soft features.

Wiping the sweat from his brow, Joel still digs through the stinking garbage bin until he found nothing of practical use. He kicks it over shamelessly onto its side with his boot, leaving it to roll freely before he turned to Ellie and shot her a smug look.

"If the lack of food won't kill me, your jokes will."

"Oh, ha ha." Ellie shoots back sarcastically.

She tucks her gun into her jeans back pocket as her free hand pointed to a new row of houses sticking out and around the next street corner.

"Why don't we check there for something to eat?" She suggests, and quirks a small smile that had appeared after Joel's.

"See now that, we can do."

"And if we find nothing," She remarks, "Next bird I see I'm totally shooting it."

Joel breaths out another low chuckle as they made their way around the abandoned street corner, beginning to search and scavenge through the one of many houses, hoping for an opportunity to not miss out on a much needed meal.

And on that opportunity.

And an hour and a half of scavenging later.

After they searched the first house.

Then the second house.

Third house.

Fourth.

Fifth?

That Joel and Ellie's empty stomachs began to rumble even louder. Their hunger overpowering any other feelings; food was the most important thing now, and they were bound to find something edible sooner or later - they'd just have to keep looking.

Joel peers his head into a large master bedroom, and as he slowly opens the door, the barrel of his shotgun remains aimed until he felt it was clear. Immediately, Joel begins to tear through each dresser drawer and fanned through old, worn clothes. When he hears the sound of footsteps come from the room next to the bed pick up, did he draw his shotgun up yet again, his eyes narrowing into slits.

A loud groan and shout erupted as a Runner darts full sprint out of the room, subconsciously headed straight towards Joel without a second thought, evidently ignoring its imminent death. It's arms outstretch for Joel, its eyes frantic and its mouth dripping with saliva.

Aiming clean for the head, Joel lowers his finger down on the trigger, and fires without wait. The impact of the bullet hit dead center of the Runner's head with a force so great that it caused its head to blow clean off, it's skull and brain matter flying in several directions as a loud crack echoed through the dilapidated walls of the house; a blood mist briefly clung to the air before disappearing. Joel couldn't expect his days being infected-free all the time.

The Runner's now headless body flew back, landing with a hard thud on the ground, a blood pool slowly forming beneath it as it lays motionless.

Sighing in relief, Joel slings the shotgun back over his shoulder, Ellie's now worrisome voice called to him from downstairs.

"What the fuck was that?! Are you okay?" She calls out, slightly panicked.

"Just a Runner, I'm fine! Keep lookin'!" Joel hollers, now checking the nightstands next to the bed.

The first nightstand was empty, not a fucking surprise, but after searching through more clothes and junk, to Joel's relief, and sheer luck, he saw with grateful eyes a small box of granola bars at the very bottom of the drawer. Taking the box in his hands, he stuck his hand in to find it nearly empty. Holy shit.

_Nearly._

One, single granola bar remained in a tight, foil packaging; it was most likely stale, but still edible for the most part. Content with his findings, Joel tosses the empty box aside and left the room. Quickly descending down the stairs, he found Ellie standing there, waiting for him.

"Did you find anything?"

Nodding, Joel outstretches his hand to give her the packaged snack. Ellie's eyes lit up with vigor, and her stomach churns at the very sight of food, but she quickly frowns to realize that it wasn't exactly enough for the both of them. Food was so damned scarce now, among lots of other things.

"Wait," She pauses, "You're giving it all to me?"

"Your hunger before mine." He expresses softly as he places the bar in her hands. Ellie shakes her head as she tears off the packaging, revealing an unmoldy, and surprisingly good aroma from the grainy treat. With her hands, she breaks the soft snack right in half, and hands one side to him.

He loves her to not make her go hungry, and she loves him to do the same. She would not let him starve for her.

"No fucking way, we'll split it."

Joel's hand pushes it back to reject it. "Ellie, you need all the food you can get-"

"And so do you." Ellie responded quickly as she forcefully places it in his hand. He's not doing this, no way.

Sighing, Joel stares at it for a moment, before he glances back at Ellie, who was now standing there, tapping her shoe lightly.

Joel raises an eyebrow, which Ellie catches. "I'm not moving or eating mine until you do first." She declares firmly, but then shrugs to the backpack on her shoulders.

"Or I could read you more 'terrible' jokes?"

Quickly at hearing this, Joel sticks the whole granola bar in his mouth in one single bite, chewing briefly before he swallows it, all within a matter of seconds. He chuckles as he smiles at Ellie, and she can only roll her eyes at him before playfully punching him in the arm.

"Happy?" He gruffly asks, a pinch of sarcasm in his tone.

"You're such a dick." She insults with a small laugh as she took a bite out of her food, her feet strolling off towards the front door, with a grinning Joel following closely behind her, as always. It wasn't much food, but it was something; so it was a start.

Just the fact Ellie was happy today gave Joel the strength to move on, with, or without an empty stomach.

Stepping back out into the sun, Ellie and Joel make their way out of the suburban area, and head back to the main highway, if they followed it, it'd be a straight shot through Colorado and into Kansas; at least, that's what Joel had hoped for. And now that they both had some food in them, it seemed even easier now.

"Here, we can cut through this alleyway." Joel suggests he made a turn off to the right, Ellie now walking behind him.

It was a long, gravel path, with paint-scratched fences all along the sides, guarding the backyards of houses that people used to occupy, now with lush greenery that grew heavily on both the houses and the fences and expanded down to the ground. Ellie looks at the homes with curiosity, her gaze looking back to Joel who was walking a few feet ahead of her, his revolver firmly in hand.

"Did you ever live in a house _that_ big?" Ellie asks, in regards to a beige house that stood out among the rest.

Joel looked and saw it's large, but worn out roof shingles, and massive, cracked and broken windows that allowed sunlight to pour in all kinds of ways. The architecture seemed intricate and different by the way the house was shaped. Not a typical house among the standard apartments and bungalows back in that time. Although, the very size of the house just by looking at it caused Joel to shake his head in response.

"I had a big house, but not one that big."

"I can't imagine living in a house like that!" Ellie breaths out in wonder, "It must've been so ni-"

Joel's boots screech in the gravel to a firm stop, his hand went up as a signal as he shushes her. Immediately, Ellie fell quiet as she swiftly drew her gun from the back of her pant pocket and flicked the safety off. At first, she didn't know what the hell it was Joel was talking about, until she saw that one of the fences had a door; but it was shaking for some reason, like something wanted to get out. The two approached closer, and stood cautiously a few feet away from it.

"Runner?"

"It doesn't sound like it." Joel comments as he raises his revolver.

A solid, hard thud hit the door, and the shaking stop as the wooden door flew right open, almost taking its hinges off. Joel's finger almost squeezed the trigger, and Ellie did too, but the two became perplexed as they saw a man with shaggy, dark hair walk out, panting furiously.

"Stupid, fucking door!" He curses as he goes and kicks it a second time trying to catch his breath, but his voice got caught in his throat when he turns to see Joel and Ellie pointing their guns at him. The fucking guy didn't even blink before he shot his his hands up defensively and in almost guilt. The man stares at them, his dark brown eyes blinking. He didn't look older than twenty five. He was waiting, for them to lower them, or at least say something.

"Holy shit.." He exhales.

Nervous, Ellie's look hardens, and she keeps her finger on the trigger. "The hell' are you doin' son?" Joel growls, keeping his revolver aimed.

"I could ask you the same thing." He reciprocates, in regards to having two guns aimed at him.

"Are you armed?"

The man spins around fully, his arms stretching out to his sides before he laughs. "Do I look armed? No, i'm out on a scouting run."

Joel looks to Ellie for a while, then gives her a curt nod in a sign of okay. Lowering her gun, she flicks on the safety, and tucks it back into her jean pocket, Joel does the same, but he keeps his guard up, and he takes a few steps back towards Ellie. His gaze on the man remaining deadpanned, and unfaltering.

"Scouting run?" Joel pries. Shrugging, the man wipes some sweat from his forehead. "Yeah, food, weapons, clothes, that sort of thing."

"All by yourself?"

"I don't make the rules, man."

"Rules?" Ellie quips as she took a step closer, but Joel holds out his arm protectively beside her, halting her in her tracks.

"Yeah, back at our camp, our leader sends out only one scout." The man explains, before rolling his eyes. "He says it's _'faster'_, and more _'efficient'_ and all that bullshit." He enunciates on the words, kicking up some gravel with his sneaker.

"And today was your day?" Joel asks, already knowing the answer.

The man nods, but then slumps his shoulders forward. "Well, the kids and the women can't do it."

"Kids?"

The man's demeanor changes, and his eyes shift around slightly before he looks back at Joel, nodding yet again. "Yup, got a whole mess of em' to take care of."

Ellie perks up at hearing this. Kids? Other actual kids, maybe her age? She smiled slightly.

"Huh." Joel murmurs, seeming somewhat unconvinced. He didn't know why, but something seemed off about the man, then again, ever since everything went to shit, he's got a hunch on just about anybody now.

"Right now it's all about finding food though, we're running low." He goes on, before motioning to the two of them. "Looks like you guys could use some too."

"Doesn't everyone?" Joel states blandly, and the man laughs, scratching behind his neck, "Ain't that the truth."

A small silence lingers between them for a long second or two, and after several awkward breezes of air rolling by, Joel looks to Ellie in a way that said they should keep going and press forward before dark, but before Joel could speak up, the man had already beaten him to it.

"Hey, look, you two uh, want to make a deal?"

Raising an eyebrow, Joel's voice shifts into a tone of curiosity. "What kind of deal?"

"Look, you both seem like good people," He admits, "Not like those fuckin' hunters.." His eyes start to light up, in a strange, inexplicable way.

"You both help me bring some supplies back to the town, i'll split the earnings, maybe twofold."

"Deal." Ellie agrees, but Joel's quick to shoot her back down. "Ellie-"

"Joel, come on." She presses in a half whine and half beg with crossed arms, her desperation shining through, "We're starving, we need supplies."

"Hey, we don't even need any formalities," The stranger adds, seemingly backing Ellie up, which was.. odd.

"Just help a guy out, and we make some trades? It's a win-win for all of us."

Joel stands there for a minute, just contemplating, and the look Ellie gave him didn't help him wanting to go against her decision. In a way she had a point, a simple favor, and if anything else happens, it'd be more than easy to kill the scrawny looking guy. Sighing, Joel nods, and Ellie smiles, the man does too with a sigh of relief.

"Jesus, thanks man-" Joel raises his hand and cut him off. "One favor, that's it, then I expect our stuff in return so we can go on our way."

The man nods energetically, before guiding them to continue down the road. "I saw some houses down there that seemed interesting, we can start there."

"Let's do it." Ellie insists, now walking close behind the man, but still kept close to Joel who was walking behind her.

His conscience picks at him, his past experiences acting almost as a forewarning. Why did he give in so quickly? They were fucking desperate, that's why, and desperation carries you far. Caution nudges at him repeatedly with each step he took forward, and for that reason, Joel keeps his hand above his revolver during their whole walk. Just this one time, then that was it. Next time it got this despairing, they'd find another way to get by.

He watches with attentive eyes as Ellie begins to talk to the man, her kind, intact innocent side becoming visible.. still always the talkative one.

If he tries anything, anything at all, or Ellie somehow got hurt.

Joel wouldn't hesitate, not once, to blow that man's fucking head off.


	6. Mice In The Trap

_**"Some are not what you think they are.. they are what they hide."**_

* * *

Ellie wipes the sweat off her brow nonchalantly with her long sleeve as she lugs the supplies in her backpack. She follows a few feet behind Joel and the man they were doing this for in the first place. It wasn't _as_ hot anymore, the sun began to fall, and the sky became painted with different hue's of orange, blue and pink. It was still pretty warm outside, but not as bad as it would be mid-day. Birds chirped as they flew around from houses to branches, going about their business; and the typical breeze that came around made the tree leaves sway aimlessly.

The three of them spent around five hours of searching for whatever it was that could come of use. And were surprised at the amount of shit that could be found, overlooked, and left behind after such a long time. They had retrieved at least a dozen cans of perishable foods, parts, and other kinds of supplies that could come of great use to both herself, Joel, and the man and his fellow people back at his camp.

Joel felt the weight of all the supplies in his bag, and he lets out a low groan as he re-adjusts the straps on his shoulders with a small shake of his arms.

Ellie grins as she notices this from behind, and with the energy she had left burning in her, she picks her legs up into a sprint and caught up behind Joel, catching him off guard as she jumps right on his back, wrapping her legs around his waist in what seemed to be a failed failed piggy back attempt.

Letting out a strained grunt, Joel can't help but laugh afterwards as Ellie chuckles behind him.

"Carry me!" She cries out, reminiscent to one of those fuckin' damsels in distress, or something.

"You tryin' to break my back?" Joel asks her mid-laugh, turning his head over his shoulder to look at her, both lovingly and jokingly. He almost cracked out another laugh right in her face when he saw a shocked look appear on her face.

Their fellow stranger watches the moment between them as he walks along their side, observing quietly.

"You sayin' i'm fat, _oldie_?" Ellie retorts, before playfully hitting him in the leg with her foot.

Joel snorts, "You're callin' me old?"

Ellie prods a finger at the bags under his green eyes, "Nah, but these wrinkles are!"

"Best keep that finger out of my old face," He threatens, his voice filling with fake mischief. "Or else i'll bite it off."

The two didn't see the man beside them briefly cringe, his gaze falling downward uneasily.

Ellie grins, and Joel chuckles yet again before turning his head to face the road ahead. Ellie slides off his back, her feet barely touching the ground before she takes off in another sprint, but this time straight ahead. Joel didn't even try to race after her, in fear of pulling a muscle, if he hadn't already.

"Don't go too far ahead." He cautions.

Ellie raises her hand and waves it dismissively, because she she took off ahead of him as she usually did. Joel cracks a small to himself. As for the man walking alongside him, he lets out a low cough, breaking the two-second-too-long silence before he speaks up, a small, awkward smile on his face. It seemed a little too forced for some odd reason.

"Quite the little girl you got there." He observes, tilting his chin up to Ellie, who was already long gone.

Proudly, Joel nods in agreement, "Yeah, she's one of a kind, ain't she?"

The man knew the two didn't look exactly alike, or have any resembling features, but he decided to let it slide as he let out another cough.

"Hey, I know we weren't up for formalities, but, I appreciated you and your girl's help." He begins, pausing a bit as Joel gave him a brief, inquisitive glance.

"I feel like I can only thank you two properly if I could address you like so."

Thinking nothing of it at this point, along with feeling a small wave of mutuality wash over him, Joel shrugs.

"I'm Joel, and she's Ellie." He introduces, nodding his head ahead to Ellie as she suddenly slows down to catch her breath.

"Well, thanks Joel, and to your girl, Ellie. Name's Wayne, by the way." He introduces back, adjusting his bag as he runs a hand through his sweaty hair.

Shrugging at this, Joel gives him a curt nod. "Don't mention it." He replies, the words tasted odd on his tongue, strangely enough, but he shakes it off. All these weird feelings of something being off had to mean something. Should they turn back? Was it too late for that now?

"Now how close are we?" Joel asks casually, "We really gotta be on our way."

"Ah, it's only a couple extra blocks. We'll see when we get there, can't miss it." Wayne explains, a hint of anxiety in his tone, but he quickly smothers it like it was never there to begin with when he swallows a lump deep in the back of his throat.

Luckily for him, he doesn't have too when Ellie starts to run back towards them, this time her gun was in hand as her face now appears somewhat panicked. It was only when she came within range, could she explain herself.

"Infected." She pants, throwing her thumb over her shoulder. "Lots of fucking infected."

With a fluid arm movement, Joel pulls out his revolver and is now holding it firmly in his grip. "How many?"

Ellie let out a big breath, "Too many."

Joel nods his head in acknowledgement. Fucking Infected were everywhere. Wayne can only stand there, staring at the two at contemplating the amount of infected that was blocking their path, and the fact that he was unarmed made him feel even more defenseless, this adding heavily on top of his already high-pile of tension.

"What the hell do we do?" He blurts out, and the answer he receives isn't what he expects.

"We sneak past em', simple. Too many for us two to take down alone."

"Sneak how?" Wayne asks quickly, thinking he's on the level of bat-shit crazy, but Joel already starts to walk ahead, Ellie following him.

Confused and worried, Wayne can only do the same.

"Just follow my lead and we'll be fine." Joel instructs before grabbing a firm hold of Ellie's hand, pulling her close.

"You especially, Ellie." He adds in his typical, overly-protective tone. Smiling slightly, Ellie nods her head as Joel's feet tread carefully ahead, all of them watching every step as if it would be their last.

Once they had gotten within distance of the infected, Joel hugs the wall of a nearby by house, seeing it was the only route to sneak by where none of them were walking. His feet carefully slide across the grass, with Ellie to his left, and Wayne to hers.

The sight of the infected made the situation tense, and the agonizing groans and moans of the Runners walking around was enough to send goosebumps up anybody's spine. The Clickers were making that god-awful noise, shuffling and stumbling around mindlessly.

At least thankfully, Clickers couldn't fucking see.

Runners on the other hand were a whole different kind of trouble. They still had eyesight, but it was very poor and hazy, so long as they kept their distance away from the dozens that stood idly and roamed slowly about, they'd be fine. At least that's what they thought.

They were so close to being home-free, almost past the wall of infected that stood between them, and the rest of the way to the camp. They inched slowly against the wall, each one of them being mindful and watching their step, keeping their eyes alert. Not a single world was being uttered while Joel led themselves past. Ellie kept her eyes on him, and Wayne tried to keep his cool. He had never seen so many at once in his life.

Where did they come from?

And they were _almost_ home-free.

_Almost._

Once they inch past the side of the house, Joel manages to catch a Runner out of his peripherals walking towards his general direction. Before Joel can even hesitate or back away; the Runner already catches him red-handed. And if that wasn't bad enough. He lets out a high-pitched scream, quickly attracting the noise of the other Infected as they begin to quickly become alert and agitated.

However, before the Runner can even make it to Joel, he draws his revolver and unloads a single bullet between it's eyes, making it fall over onto the grass.

If the Runners shriek didn't already cause attention, that sure as hell did.

Ellie shoots a glance to the Infected, and Wayne does too. Only a second ago they had a home-stretch, and now at least eight Runners saw them, and the Clickers became attracted with them, all of their arms starting to thrash violently as they let out high shrieks, coming forward.

"Oh, fuck!" Ellie breaths, and Joel firmly tugs her by her hand, already pulling her into a run.

He turns to see if Wayne was behind them, and he was. Although, he remained stationary, and frozen in place.

Time was running out.

"Wayne, haul ass!" Joel commands, catching his attention. Wayne shoots him an overwhelmed look before he finally proceeds to do what he had to do. His legs kick up with his feet, and the three take off in a full fledged sprint. Now with a large trail of infected behind them. That was not a good fucking idea.

The road blurred beneath the three of them as their adrenaline pumped, all of their legs running together as they made a dash down the rest of the road. It seemed like hours they were doing it, and the sounds and growls of Infected behind them didn't stop. Ellie doesn't dare to look over her shoulder to see what they were up against. Instead, her mind only focuses on running as she sprints between Joel and Wayne, her feet refusing to stop movement.

When the camp finally came into their view, it seemed like a safe haven. The large, thick concrete walls were high, and one steel door was the key to the entrance. It seemed like a walled-off area from the rest of the houses in this area, and re-built and constructed into a fortified base.

Although, a fortified base at a time like this didn't seem like a bad fucking place to start.

"There it is!" Wayne sputters out as he continues to run, heaving for breath.

"They're getting close, dammit!" Joel growls as he turns over his shoulder to see the persistent Infected still behind their backs.

Seconds seemed like minutes, and when the steel doors came closer into view, patrol men stood at the top of the walls. They seemed intrigued at seeing the three of them run towards the entrance, but at seeing the trail of infected behind them, the two men standing up top don't hesitate as they raise their assault rifles, beginning to fire at the infected, knocking them over one by one, and giving them cover.

"Open the door!" One of the patrol men screams as he aims his rifle down, squeezing the trigger and sending another cascade of bullets past , and Wayne. Within seconds, and the closer Joel, Ellie and Wayne gotten, the doors were finally swung open by the bulky arms of two other men. The three of them ran inside to safety immediately, and the steel doors shut behind them, a thick latch falling on top of it. The bullets whizzing overhead eventually stopped, assuming that all the infected had been killed. Joel, Ellie and Wayne stand there for several moments, panting and heaving as they try to regain their breath.

"Ellie-" Joel breathes, turning to Ellie, his eyes immediately going soft, "Are you okay?"

Wiping the sweat from her forehead, she swallows hard. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Wayne, what about you?" Joel asks, but was taken aback as the man began to distance himself away from Joel.

"Wayne?" Joel asks again, but turns his head around to see that the patrol men, and several others had stared at them intently.

It was then, when both Ellie and Joel realize, there aren't any, not not one damn kid anywhere to be seen, and not a single woman either. Nowhere in sight was there any of that. Just ten some men, with and without guns, and who knew if there were more. Several buildings marked as specific areas. No laughter filled the air as they had expected, nor feelings of safety or security.

The air became tense, and dense. When Wayne caught his breath, he backed up, his face contorting into one of sick surprise. Joel's conscience nipped at him again. He knew this was bad. It was a lure into a fucking trap. Why, why, why didn't he turn the fuck around when he knew something was wrong.

Ellie looks at Joel, and he knows exactly what she was thinking and feeling, their thoughts radiated from one to another. She backs up slowly, but she doesn't get far when she felt a strong pair of arms tightly grab her and knock the gun out of her hand, immediately she lets out a yelp of panic.

"Let me go, motherfucker!"

"Ellie-!"

Before Joel could even reach for his gun to shoot the man grabbing Ellie, he felt a rough kick to the back of his shins, knocking him on his knees in suit. Joel wants to fight back, but the second he heard the click of his rifle behind the back of his head, he doesn't dare to do so much as flinch. He knew he was now the most vulnerable and weak, and he knew he couldn't do anything, as much as he wanted too. Why didn't he just walk away from Wayne when he had the feeling? Guilt ate him up.

"Joel!" Ellie screeches, her sneakers kicking up dirt.

Joel eyes look to her as a knife presses against her neck, another man's arms wrap tightly around her frame, limiting her ability to move. The man's face is covered behind some kind of ski-mask, but either way it didn't stop Joel from wanting to butcher him along with everyone else in this new-found hell hole.

"Whoa there, girl." The man growls in her ear as he holds her tight. Anxiety quickly wells up in Ellie's eyes, and she feels the same harsh betrayal just as Joel did, and she couldn't even bear to look at Wayne as he stands there in front of them observing the scene with proud eyes.

"Well, shit!" Wayne boasts, throwing his arms out to his sides triumphantly, almost waiting for applause. "Told you your boss could make a catch."

Wayne pauses, before looking to Ellie and approaching her, gripping her chin tightly, "Even caught a little rascal."

Ellie grunts, and she wanted to vomit by how close his gross breath got to her nose. She couldn't even move a millimeter without feeling the pressure of the cool knife against her hot neck. She firmly shuts her eyes as Wayne glares at her. Flashes of past experiences go through her mind, and she feels her whole body quake. And she could already feel Joel's blood boil from a few feet away, she didn't dare look to see the contempt on his face.. she just wanted her and Joel to get out of here.

"Don't you touch her." Joel growls protectively, his eyes darkening.

At hearing this threat, Wayne releases Ellie, much to her relief, but he turns to Joel with a look of curiosity on his face.

"Or what?" Wayne teases bitterly, "You gonna shoot me?"

Joel feels the barrel of the rifle press against the back of his skull, and he unwillingly forced himself to fall quiet.

"You know, out of all the pretentious old fucks out there, I really expected you to know better,_ Joel._" Wayne tisks, before giving him a grateful smile.

"Thanks for the supplies though, and your backpack, guns, and whatever other kinds of shit you got."

"If that's all you want," Joel huffs, "Then let us go."

He didn't want to get caught in this, or tangling with the affairs of wrong groups of people. He's already seen how this has played out before. Crossing his arms, Wayne seems in the midst of considering it, until he immediately shakes his head in rebuttal.

"Nah," He says simply, "We got a place here for people like you."

Joel didn't like the implications that statement brought.

"That being said, let's show you to it." He says as he flicks his eyes up to his ally, who was holding the gun behind Joel's head.

"Thomas, take him to Basement A." Joel feels a firm arm jerk him up, and much to his discontent, he obeys. At least he'd be with Ellie, and they'd find a way out of this mess. They always did. Wayne eyes then shifted to Ellie.

"Bruce, you can take her Basement C."

Ellie twitches at these words, but the second she feels herself being pulled away from Joel, panic consumes her whole form, and she furiously jerks against her holders burly arms. This was just how it ended up with David. She hated being alone and away from Joel, and if she was going through this all over again, she didn't want to be by herself. She could already feel her sanity decline again, and that feeling of dread built up on her insides.

"Let me go you fucking asshole-!"

Joel could see that in her eyes, and he feels his stomach plummet. He watches those heavy arms continuously holding her drag her further and further away from him, and only then did it really hurt the most. Ellie was taken from him, again, and Joel's face becomes firm; he knows he's getting beyond just angry.

Ellie screams, curses, and thrashes, her desperation growing worse as as she calls out for Joel one last time, just begging to stay with him and find a way out of this mess. As Joel was being pulled in the other direction, he watches with sunken eyes as Ellie's figure grew smaller and smaller the further she got away. Maybe Joel did lead them into a trap, but he knew it was Wayne and everyone else in this camp that was going to expect something else.

And coming from Joel, it would be anything _but_ pleasant.


	7. Relapse

_**"Of all the animals, man is the most cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it."**_

* * *

The hard concrete floor was cold and uncomfortable. Dried, faded blood stains still clearly visible on it's cracked surface, and that only confirmed Joel's suspicions that he and Ellie weren't the first one's get caught in this situation. They also weren't the only one's still in it either. Maybe there were people, but they were here for all the wrong fucking reasons, and then some.

Hours he'd spent in this damned, dingy, low lit-room, or so it seemed. At first, Joel thought it was his mind playing tricks on him, or just the loud sound of his ears ringing after drowning in the deafening silence for too long, but once he heard the voices of other men upstairs, calling and crying out in a cacophony of agony, he knew he couldn't be wrong. Hell, Joel _used_ to be a hunter, he knew their methods, this ended up being no different from the truck ambush back when him and Ellie were in Pittsburgh. He knew he should've walked away earlier on when they ran into Wayne when they had the chance, but there was no changing that now.

They were desperate for supplies, and needed food. What other choice was there now?

Either way, it didn't seem like that desperation went away, but only doubled.

The basement was dusty, eerie, and big. Empty, but big, the only thing sitting in it other than Joel was a wooden chair, which sat in the middle. Chains were hooked securely into the floor behind him, keeping his hands tightly restricted. Of course, the only way to get out of them was with a key, which Wayne probably carried around with him for obvious reasons. Maybe if he managed to get that damn key, he could go from there, get his bag and guns, then find a way to get him and Ellie out of this god forsaken place.

God, Ellie.

His mind swims now with twisted, fear inducing thoughts at just thinking about her. Her mind and spirits were already on the rocks as it is, and just when she was on the road to a recovery, she was thrown into more shit like this; but who in this world could avoid it forever anymore? Marlene words of this rang through his head back in that parking garage a few months back at the Firefly lab.

Biting his lower lip, Joel retreats those events in the back of his memory, he didn't want to accept that she was right.

Ellie has to be in hysterics by now, sitting alone as she's probably trying her hardest to block all that's happening out of her already disturbed head. If David hadn't done a number on her already, this could only bring those memories back, and make her re-live those times yet again. She doesn't deserve that, she was still innocent somewhat, and retained a beauty that the humanity in this world had long since lost. And as long as Joel was still drawing breath, you could damn well be sure that he'd try his hardest to not make her deal with any more suffering. But she was tough, she always was, even since he met her back in Boston..

Regardless, being separated from her made Joel mind cross beyond the borders of anxious.

Then again, he knew Ellie and her guilt; her mild depression and her newly discovered tendency to overthink nearly any situation; she was probably blaming all of this on her by now. Joel sighed weakly at these thoughts, letting out another grunt as he tugs at the cuffs bound to chains, but to no avail.

Some fucking journey this was turning out to be, barely out of Wyoming and they run into a group of tricky, deranged psychopaths. It'd be one hell of a thing to explain to Tommy; that is if they made it that far, Joel thinks, but he was quick to scold himself on such negativity. He has to stay strong, none of this pity bullshit.

The sound of the basement door swinging open unceremoniously made Joel tip his chin up, much to his displeasure, he saw Wayne stroll in yet again with an over-enthusiastic vigor. That overconfident piece of shit. Joel just wanted to wring his neck out like a wet towel.

"Joel!" Wayne smiles, a bit too forcefully, "How you doing?"

Joel says nothing as his green eyes fell, sticking to the floor.

A sudden outburst of a scream coming from, what sounded like a young man, erupted from the ceiling, rippling and echoing before a loud thump was heard and everything fell dead quiet. Wayne shook his head as his eyes momentarily gazed upward, before he clasped his hands together.

"Sorry about the manners of your other guests staying here," He states apologetically, but the tone in his voice was anything but.

Pulling up the wooden chair, Wayne sits down only a couple of feet from Joel. He stares, and hard, but Joel refuses to make eye contact.

"Even your girl had some trouble with manners," He brings up, and he smiles as she watches Joel's muscles tighten with satisfaction.

"Quite the mouth on her," He explains, before shrugging it off, "But that's alright-"

Joel's heart rate escalated to the point where he felt like he was going to have a fucking heart-attack. His conscience gave in, and every part of him burned along with his eyes as they darted up to Wayne, his glare radiating with thick bitterness.

"Where is _she_." He sneers, his fists curling up behind his back. Oh fuck, how he wishes he didn't have his hands cuffed. The stuff he'd do-

Wayne waves his hand in the air dismissively, "She's in good hands, don't you worry."

Joel scoffs. Good hands? That grimey bastard. His tension can only climb, making it worse as he pulls his arms away from the chains.

"Was a little tough at first, but we made it work." Wayne says in another self-enthusiastic chuckle as he slapa a hand down on his knee, his lips curving up into that prideful smile; laughing as if he was the only one in the room. Joel was not amused.

Narrowing his eyes into slits he leaned forward, and he could feel the cuffs dig so hard into his skin he swore it drew blood. He put his hands on his baby girl, and took her away from him, that to Joel was more than enough reason to kill him where he stood; but slowly, just like the pain he inflicted to the others here. Just the very fact he did this to them and other survivors barely trying to get by as it is was a kind of sick you could only expect to see in a world like this.

A world without any boundaries, rules, or morals.

Joel unwillingly bit down on his tongue, as much as he hated doing it. He knew this kind of approach he was taking, and all he wanted was fuel to feed off of other's pain to get by in this world. A morbid way of building up self-hope and reconciliation. Joel wouldn't give it to him, and not so easily.

It's almost as if Wayne knew this, because when an uncomfortable silence fell between them for a few short moments, and he saw the expression on Joel's face change, he couldn't help but try to dig a little further. He propped his elbow on his knee, and rested his chin in his hand.

"I know what you're thinking Joel," Wayne observes, leaning forward slightly, his eyebrows furrowing.

"You think _we're_ fucked in the head, but really, how much better is anybody else than us?"

He's asking questions of morality and humanity, but they didn't need to be discussed, Joel had twenty years to reflect on that and find out where it stood, even up to now. And he most definitely wasn't going to discuss this with the likes of him.

Sighing at yet another failed response, Wayne stands up from the chair, the legs creaking as if they were on the verge of breaking. It didn't help as Wayne lifts his boot and kicks the chair over and onto his side in increasing frustration. Joel barely flinched in response, he remained quiet.

"Come on, Joel!" He snaps ill-tempered, his voice agitated, "Can't you have a conversation!?"

He took a few steps closer, and both of their eyes clashed together. Wayne shifts constantly into two different people. One second he's somewhat calm and sane, the next he was an easily-tempered sociopath. Meaning he may be unpredictable, but there was so much more to him than what met the eye, and something in his life must have seriously messed him up to get him where he was now, but that could apply to everybody in this new world. Either way, it didn't matter at this point.

"No?" Wayne asks, not expecting an answer, and not much to his surprise, he didn't get one.

His demeanor changes again, into a more collected, calm stance.

"That's alright, you'll come around," He nods reassuringly before he goes off in a stride towards the door, opening it. "Give me about ten minutes."

With that, the door slams shut, and Joel was left to his thoughts again.

He didn't quite understand what he meant by ten minutes, but when he saw Wayne drag Ellie in by force, and another man at his side holding a bag of some kind. Now, all Joel wanted to do was talk. Fuck, he wanted to shout, scream, yell.

Ellie, his babygirl, was awry, and the moment her eyes fixate with Joel's, the look on her face only got worse. A huge, dark purple bruise was now forming on the right side of her face, her nose crusted with dry blood, and her shirt and pants had dirty boot marks all over it, her step seemed off, she walked with a slight limp, and her hands were behind her back too, bound by a zip tie. Where the fuck did he get that. He swears to God he'll fucking butcher-

Joel could feel the numbness in his hands as he leans forward against the restraints, he was fuming.

He wants to slaughter every single person in this camp.

"Joel?" Ellie mumbles out, it's almost if she didn't believe it was him at first. She was strong to still be standing on her own two feet.

"It's me, baby." Joel affirms, his strong voice faltering ever slightly; it was that tone he always got before he was about to break.

Ellie steps forward, and Wayne gives her a prominent shove, sending her onto her knees.

"Go on." He falsely encourages, and he watches with close eyes as Ellie scrambles over, burrowing her face in Joel's chest.

Joel wants to hug her, hug her so _fucking_ bad, but his hands were still numb and held back; but it didn't matter, as long as she was with him, he didn't care. He could hear Ellie breaks out into little muttering, now completely unwilling to move.

"Listen to me, Ellie, listen-" Joel mumbles into her hair, making her fall completely still.

"We're gonna be fine-" He says, pausing as he catches a strained breath. "We're going to get out of here and get to Tommy."

Ellie was incapable of forming words, he could only feel her nod against him with her head as she tried to catch her breath. And when she did, she utters something that made Joel's heart sink a little further into his chest.

"I'm sorry."

Shaking his head against her, Joel leans back, making her do the same, his eyes stare into hers and dammit he sees it, no, it came back again. He didn't want that. He didn't want to see that they're growing void, distant, and empty, just like they were back in Winter.

"Ellie-" Joel states softly, and now he was able to truly look at her face and take in the extent of her injuries, he can't even finish his sentance when his voice gets caught in his throat. The side of her face was a bit swollen, and her lips were dry and cracked, and all of it seemed to be too much to take in at one.

Surely enough, this only fueled Joel's bloodlust. His lips part to say something else to Ellie, but Wayne lodges himself in-between it.

"Jesus Christ." Wayne chuckles, running a hand through his shaggy dark hair, the man beside him chuckles lowly in suit. They took humor from their misery.

"We're going to be fine." Joel reassures again, although this time more sternly, and Ellie just stares at him back with a blank face, but she nods anyway.

"Okay, I think you two have had your time." Wayne intervenes, walking over and grabbing Ellie by her arm, jerking her back harshly.

"Asshole." She manages to wince in almost sheer silence as Wayne holds her still.

"Y'know, it's funny how you'll only do what you have too when someone you love is on the line." Wayne comments bluntly, before he let out another low chuckle of his; shaking his head his dark blue eyes looked to Joel. Ellie remained dead silent.

"I used to be like that." He admits, before guiding over Ellie to the other man, who abruptly shoved her on the floor again with a hard thump.

Ellie curses something out between gritted teeth, and Joel leans forward, his teeth clenching. This motherfucker wants to die.

"Then I realized, that was dumb fucking way to survive."

"Leave her alone_._" Joel hisses darkly, his skin now gleaming with a thin layer of sweat which formed from his perpetual anger.

"Oh no, see it don't work like that, Joel." Wayne retorts as-a-matter-of-factly.

Turning, he nodded off to his other ally, who put the bag down to his side as he knelled down next to Ellie. Pressing her cheek against the concrete, he drew his pistol, and pressed it to the back of her head, causing Ellie to freeze in paranoia.

"You resist, I shoot you, you fuckin' understand me?" The man growls into Ellie's ear so only she could hear.

She heard Joel yell out in a plea, but it drowned out to her as she held back the fucking tears. She couldn't cry, she wouldn't, and she's not going too, so she nods unwillingly in agreement, because she knew she wasn't the only one who had to be strong here, and dying wasn't an option.

"Now," Wayne began, turning to face a provoked Joel. "We're going to do with you, what we do with the others here."

Grabbing the bag, Wayne tilts it over, spilling its contents onto the floor. A shiv, rusty pair of pliers, an iron rod, and a metal coat hanger was revealed as all the objects now laid there. Absentmindedly, Wayne began to lay them all out on the floor in a specific order. Joel was struck between looking horrified and to the point of being so visibly distraught he could have bursted every known fucking vein in his body.

"When we don't use our guests for other purposes-"

The hell did he mean, other purposes?

"We use them to not only relieve stress, but teach lessons." Turning to Joel, Wayne raises a finger in the air.

"But not just any lessons. Lessons needed for surviving." He went on, "And in a world like this, you need all the lessons you can get."

"I'll talk." Joel grits with a clenched jaw, "Just-" His shoulders slump, and his eyes fall, he never wants to show weakness, but-

"Don't hurt her, please."

Ellie's head was facing away from Joel with her eyes shut, and his words only came as barely audible, as if she was trying to block everything out. The feeling of the barrel still being pressed against her head only forced her to stay that way. She doesn't want Joel to take pain for her, but he doesn't want her too either.

Damn it all to hell.

"You're a little late for that." Wayne notes with a stern look on his face, "In fact, you're ten minutes late."

"Hugh, you keep him in line, and i'll take care her."

Ellie relaxes when she felt the gun against her head go away, but the tension only came back when Wayne flips her over, her eyes meeting with his.

"Now, do you want the pliers, or the iron bar first?" Wayne questions her malevolently, his voice raising.

"Stop!" Joel growls, but Wayne ignores him as if he wasn't even there to begin with.

Letting out a low breath, Ellie musters enough energy and spits directly in his face in putrid disgust.

"Fuck you." She clamors, and Wayne leans back, a bit shocked at first as he wipes his face with his hand. Although he stands back up, that demeanor in him shifted yet again, and his face grew with an expression of offence.

"See what I mean with manners, Joel?" He laughs, but it didn't' sound at all amused as he turns back around sharply.

Unexpectedly, his boot swiftly lands a blow in Ellie's ribs, causing her to sputter out a choked breath in pain, writhing on the ground as her form shrunk.

"Stop, goddammit!" Joel hollers, the tone in his voice heavy, and gruff.

It was then too, when Joel was greeted with a boot to his stomach by the man beside him. He sucked in a sharp breath and his stomach muscles clenched.

"Stupid little girl." Wayne insults, wiping his hands on his pants, visibly disgusted.

Ellie heaved in air desperately, a pain now fiercely radiating up her whole torso, it felt like he broke ten bones just then. Nonetheless, she fell somewhat quiet as she breathed in more sharp breaths of air, pulling her knees up to her chest as she sputters out more curses.

"No, let's make this better." Wayne suggests, turning to Joel, "You can watch her get taught a lesson."

Hugh then receives a glance from Wayne, judging from the look, he knew what he was getting at. Backing up a few steps away from Joel, he draws his pistol yet again, but on him now, pointing it directly at the top of his head.

"And if you don't, well-" He blandly adds, trailing off as he nodded to the gun unceremoniously pointed at him.

Leaning down, Wayne then picked up the iron rod. Another groan escapes Ellie's lips as she lays flat on her back, her arm muscles felt the strain, and she didn't dare move. Wayne turns to her, another swift blow landing in her leg. She jerks tightly and hisses, tears sting the edge of her squinted eyes but she forces them down.

"Joel." She seethes out in a whisper to herself, her neck cranes up and turns to look at him, and she could have sworn the look she gave him had unintentionally broken him, because his face sunk further, his voice lowering to nothing else but a pitiful mumble.

"Stop." Joel mutters again, forcing his eyes down to look away, but when he heard the click of the gun, he had no other choice to look back up. His mind and heart weighed so heavy, and he felt the lump in the back of his throat. He wants to suffer, not her, anyone but her. Why the fuck didn't he just turn around and leave-

That's all he could think as he watches Wayne's boot kick her around forcefully, like she was some kind of dog toy, and not a little girl.

Not just once, twice.

Then three times, then four.

Joel's shaking now, his stomach drops as he continuously growls and hollers to make its end.

Five times.

Joel chokes out a deep breath, he felt himself slowly lose it, the cuffs dig deeper in Joel's skin, a few droplets of blood roll down the back his wrists and down his fingers. Because he's unwillingly watching as that last bit of good is squeezed from Ellie's very being with every cry she pours out; and he's just as helpless as she is.

A blow lands on her knee, and a mix between a now broken yell punches through her lungs in response, she calls out for Joel again as she writhes onto her side on the floor, by now she had to be re-living the familiar feeling of fear and hopelessness.

Except this time she can't even help herself, and the worst part is that neither can Joel.

She snaps as she's reduced to a quivering mess and not two minutes later now she is crying, hiccuping for air and unable to do any other than continue to curse, and wish she could butcher every single person in this room. Wayne looks to Joel, that keen, yet sinister look blatant on his features. Joel's balancing loosely the verge of tears, and he's just wanting to break bad. His conscience is wracking with guilt, like a knife is twisting into him and every nerve burns.

He pictures Sarah, how she was taken from him; now people are hurting Ellie, again, taking more of what good is still left in her. That's when Wayne stops, and Joel thinks it's over; that is until he turns around and begins to storm up to him, the iron bar in his hand raising higher when he gets closer.

And Joel tenses, preparing for the blow.


	8. Way Out

_**"The pain of the mind is worse than the pain of the body."**_

* * *

Eight days.

Eight fucking agonizing days Joel had spent in that goddamned basement.

With each and every day that passed it seemed to have gotten increasingly worse and more apathetic than the previous, but it always played out the same. Joel would get his fair share of beatings to start, then he'd bring Ellie in, her face looking more despondent and languorous with every hour that passed. If that wasn't already enough to witness, then to put on top of it, these pieces of shit made him watch when her beatings came after his, more fresh cuts and bruises forming over the old ones on her skin. Then, after Ellie's taut screams and begs which soon followed with Joel's breakdowns and intangible torment, it was back to him getting either the iron rod to the legs or smacked in the jaw with a pair of pliers, until they eventually stopped, leaving him isolated to his neglectful solitude as they dragged Ellie away and back to where she's reluctantly forced to lay alone for those long days and dark nights.

Joel couldn't even bear to think about that.

Truthfully, it didn't matter to Joel on what kind of pain they decided to inflict on him, he's been through enough physical suffering in his twenty years, and enough mentally to not let that get the best of him anymore, but, still, in a way it did, because this was different, it was Ellie's physical and visible mental pain that was leading him into a deep decline in his morality, and he couldn't let Wayne fully see it, or he feared things would only worsen for Ellie and himself. On some note of optimism, they weren't dead, or at least Wayne threatened with saying that they would be eventually if they didn't comply like the others who, unfortunately, ended with that fate.

Meals were meager, and so was water; but at least it was better than laying on the ground all those hours receiving nothing. Barely any other contact could be made with the others trapped here with them, the only thing Joel got close to a conversation was when a man got thrown in here for all of ten minutes, and he wasn't even able to speak; he was just reduced to a panting, blubbering, wailing mess of a human being.

And so far, the worst part of watching Ellie's physical affliction take place before him was the waterboarding. Ellie still couldn't swim, and she's always had a perpetual fear of water, so when the cloth came down and covered her face, being firmly held down as the water rushed down, invading her mouth and nose, it just made it all the more heart-wrenching. She jerked violently, her muscles clenching and twitching before her little lungs caved and she sucked in the water; choking as she felt the horrifying sensation of drowning, which she already came close to before.

Every second felt like minutes, and just before she could pass out from the lack of oxygen, Wayne snickered and flipped her over, and she'd gasp for air, sucking in sharp breaths between her sobs and strained coughs as she squirmed on the floor trying to breathe properly, her frantic eyes still unable to look at Joel throughout it all. Were they going to die here? No, they couldn't die here like this, Joel wouldn't let them die here, especially not Ellie.

It would not end like this.

But Christ, he's supposed to prevent her from being in pain and danger. Failure ate at his insides.

_"Good job you're useless."_ One part of him scolds, although the other part of him is hopeful, _"There's still a chance to find a way out."_

Looking around the room, and only seeing a cracked, high window, Joel grumbles lowly through a dry cough.

Although, the being useless thought so far was the only one that seemed to resonate.

The sunlight began to fully peak in through the small window, stinging Joel's retinas before he blinks it in and adjusts. His head feels heavy and he just wanted to lay down on any dingy, old pillow he could find. The pain throbbed and pulsed in his skull, not a sharp pain, but more of a dull pounding that repeated over...and over...and over. His brain felt like it was in overdrive, but at the same time it can't process anything properly.

Images, thoughts, scenarios, and memories coursed through his head, but they're chasing each other, and his mind can't seem to catch a single one, but gets pounded with all of them at the same time as they ricocheted off one another. His hand trails up to his forehead, and he feels a gash along with a wet sensation.

Looking down at his fingers, a dark crimson stained his skin, he let out another deep sigh as he wiped it on his jeans. He blinks yet again, his vision seems more blurry than usual, and he wasn't sure if it was because of his head injury, the lack of water, or more likely, both. Leaning back against the wall, Joel's hands and wrists are now comfortably numb, and as they dug into his skin he didn't bat an eyelash at it.

So, he sat idly, not looking forward to the time the basement door opened.

And it was right around that time.

Too soon, it seemed, when roughly forty seconds later the wooden door had swung open with its usual, over-the-top force, and the first one to stumble in was Ellie, her hands now tied in the front, and strangely enough, this time she was blindfolded, but enough of her face was revealed to show how deathly pale she was. Almost as white as snow, and it made every dark purple mark, scratch and bruise on her small features look even more distinct, although there was surely more bruises elsewhere, as the kicks and punches that we're constantly given to her had proven.

Anger was a word that came off as a bold understatement. The level and range of pent-up, bitter emotions Joel felt was colossal when he had to experience and witness this on what now seemed to become a daily basis. However, much to his discontent, he tried his hardest to stay as calm as he could. He needed all the energy he could salvage now, but even trying to remain somewhat placid when he saw Ellie in this much distress was emotionally and physically draining.

Joel leaned forward as Wayne brusquely shoved Ellie to the floor, she barely twitched when she hit the ground with a rough thud.

"Ellie-" Joel calls, his voice dropping slightly from his dry throat.

She couldn't turn to face him, every bone in her spine aches.

"Joel?" She whispers in a quiet voice, but he was unable to hear her.

Another off thing to see that Joel quickly notices as his attention turned to Wayne, was that he came alone this time. As Ellie shifts uncomfortably on the floor, he casually turns around and closes the door shut. Something seemed variant from the common, there were no pliers, not an iron bar, no water bucket, no rag. Joel bit the inside of his cheek as Wayne paced left to right, his features firm and dark.

Finally, after a heavy silence, he spoke, that customary, odd chuckle leaving his lips.

"Normally, we go by routine-" He states dryly, his eyes shifting down to glare at Ellie. She couldn't _see_, but she could_ feel_ his sharp eyes stabbing into her back.

"But today's gonna be a bit different." He drags on, his gaze now shifting to Joel, his eyebrows raising, "Want to know why that is?"_  
_

"Do I have a choice?" Joel replies bitterly.

"No." Wayne says simply.

Joel absolutely loathes himself for even speaking to him, but Joel knows he has to play it safe, and one way of doing that was answering his questions, much to his disliking. Kneeling down next to Ellie, Wayne firmly grips her by her ponytail, and jerks her neck and head up, causing her to flinch; Wayne's teeth show as his face grew with a look of resentful disapproval. Joel immediately regrets replying, but he's sure Wayne would have told him and done the same nonetheless.

"She bit me." He seethes, before he pushes her head back down, her nose crinkling as it presses awkwardly against the concrete.

Joel momentarily freezes on the spot._ Bit?_

Joel's eyes avert as they look to her long sleeves, which covers her bite, and it then strikes him that they must've not known that she was "infected" this whole time. But then again, that means that if she bit _him_, he was now infected too, and didn't even know it. Joel felt a brief sense of relief and euphoria wash over inside him, and he just wanted to hold Ellie. He knew that she knew how he was feeling, because of the silent reaction that came from him that only she could understand.

"So, for being disobedient-" He sighs, his voice relaxing as his form lurched over her, his legs resting on each of her sides.

"She gets taught a lesson, and you observe."

And so vanished the relief, and the euphoria - gone like it was never there to begin with.

Ellie's stomach clenches and tightens at the innuendo, at the feeling of a heavy weight on top of her, nobody else but David's face flared, his voice ringing through her mind, and almost like a reflex, her eyes began to water, she tried to lift her legs or kick him in the back but wasn't able to lift them against the dead weight. Even with the blindfold on, she closed her eyes tightly shut anyway. She felt sick, worthless, and humiliated.

Angers a feeling that drives anybody insane, because it's almost like a light switch, all you need is to push that wrong button and something sends electricity in your spine; like unwanted energy. Joel feels above and beyond this, his face becomes disgusted and matched with a scarlet emotion; his eyes slim into slits as he let out a primal growl that didn't even sound remotely human. With a raw force, his hands pulled so hard against the cuffs the screws securing it into the ground shifted. A surrogate father pushed to his very limits.

Joel snaps defensively, "Get your goddamned hands away from her._"_

"Motherfucker-" Ellie breathes out, but the only words Wayne focused on was Joel's.

"I'll give you a choice." Wayne says gruffly as he adjusted himself on Ellie, her voice cracking in inaudible noises; she was on the verge of sobbing.

"You can join in, or watch." He smiles, that sick, pleasantly disturbed look plastered on his face. Humanity was a sick work of nature.

Joel's arms pulled with all his force against the cuffs, begging for them to break, but they didn't. His mind screamed at him to do something, anything. He was not going to watch the last of Ellie's innocence get defiled in front of him by a desperate, twisted, lunatic.

Fatherly instincts came into play, water rising in his eyes, but Joel chokes it back and swallows hard. Never has he wanted to protect Ellie and all she's done for him and been through as much as he did right now. He tries not to think about Marlene's thoughts again.

"I'll-" Joel felt the words taste sour on his tongue, "Join in."

Ellie freezes in confusion, and she falls dead silent, and a part of Joel thinks that she's knows what his plans are. Wayne on the other hand, keeps that twisted grin on his face, even after he had gotten off of Ellie, and walks towards Joel, his eyes widen in a shocked stupor.

"You sick fuck." Wayne breathes out as he kneels down next to Joel, reaching his hand into the pocket of his pants. "Huh, guess we aren't so different after-all."

A glimmer of hope showed itself to Joel when Wayne pulls out a small key, and to Joel's satisfaction, he was right that he carries one with him. If he did this at the perfect time, this could be his and Ellie's chance to escape, then again, one wrong move, and it could very well be their last. And when that damned lock finally came off, Joel feels the weight on his shoulders lift ever so slightly, and the skin on his wrists burn when they become freed at last.

"Don't get any smart ideas." Wayne indicates, firmly pulling Joel to his feet while simultaneously pulling his pistol out from the back of his pants.

Nodding in compliance, Joel slowly marches over until he hovers over Ellie, she tries so say something but her mouth only twitches, leaving her unable to say anything in her perturbed state. When she felt Joel lower himself on top of her, his legs falling down to her sides, the amount of horrific and uncomfortable emotion became unfathomable, and Joel could feel it within side himself, just as he did in her. Lowering his lips down to her ear, Joel lets out a constrained, broken whisper.

He's sorry, so fucking sorry.

"Listen to me, Ellie-" He murmurs, his voice hinting a tone of sadness due to her visible misery. "I'm getting us out of here, don't worry."

She nods, and he could feel her somewhat relax at his tone of reassurance, but that doesn't stop Wayne as he stands right beside Joel, his gun at his side.

"Whispering? Man, that's some weird shit." He laughs, before he motions his gun to the situation unfolding in front of him. "Go on."

If this is what got the disturbed bastard off, then Joel would add on to already an extensive list of what he wanted to do to him when he got the chance. Raising his head and looking ever so slightly to the side, Joel saw that Wayne's leg was within his reach, and if he was quick enough, he could knock the fucker on his ass before he even knew what happened.

Joel's hands raise slowly, and Ellie tenses. And that's Wayne's foot nudges Joel to give him a push of encouragement to continue. It was in that split second, did time scream at him to take the opportunity. And take it he did, then it all happens so quickly.

Joel's hand swings out to the side and grabs Wayne's calf before he could even bat an eyelash. And all of Joel's pent up fury goes right into the power of his singular pull, jerking his arm towards him with a force so great that Wayne's other leg swoops up in suit as he's pulled forward, his back going mid-air before it thuds harshly on the concrete, knocking both the gun out of his hands, and the air in his lungs.

Within seconds, Joel's already half-past overdrive as he hastily scrambles himself top of him, a quick punch blowing to Wayne's jaw before his iron hand grips firmly over his mouth and the other over his neck. And judging by the sole look in Joel's eyes, what comes next wasn't going to be any more merciful.


	9. Silence

**_"Sometimes the best thing you can hear, is when there's nothing to hear at all."_**

* * *

His nose is scrunched up, and his eyebrows knitted close together in deep thought, Joel stares blankly at Wayne as he sits propped up against the wall where Joel himself had spent those horrid eight days. He had used Ellie's blindfold as a gag, which smothered his attempt to call out in the bastards feeble begs.

On a whim of despair, Wayne's demeanor changes from feeling completely powerful, to completely fucking powerless. So many malign ideas and thoughts run through Joel's mind about what he wants to do to him after all the pain and misery he caused, not just to him, but more important, Ellie.

Joel, needless to say, stops his staring and continues along with his slurred, cursed profanities. One brutal punch came, then swift kick to the ribs next. Joel kept going and going, hell, his blood pumping by contempt at this point which powers every thrust of his swings. The more bloodied and battered Wayne's face becomes, the more Joel wants to keep going; these hits were nothing compared to what he did. Fucking nothing.

Although, when Ellie finally manages to collect what liveliness she has left to speak with an unforeseen, strong voice, Joel turns to her in disarray with bloodied knuckles, her guiltless eyes are just enough to almost bring him down to his damned knees when she looks at him.

Her face is riddled with cuts, marks, everything. And she looks like she was in so much shock and confusion as she struggles to lean up against the wall for support. She appears so unbelievably kept-together, but yet so broken given everything that's happened. But Joel knows she's strong, she has been ever since Winter, when that other piece of shit tried to break her.

The bags underneath her small eyes can only elucidate how exhausted she must be.

"Joel, can we leave?" She asks with as steady of a voice as she can, keeping her eyes fixated on him.

Joel doesn't know exactly what to say in reply at first, but clearly, Ellie doesn't care anymore about where Wayne's fate lies beyond this point, he'd end up turning anyway. In a way, knowing an inescapable doom like that was unavoidable, that seems to be enough for Joel to know that he'd have to suffer through that. A dark little conscience finds itself on Joel's shoulder, the one he used to listen too all the time, the one without limit.

Fuck, keep going. Don't listen to Ellie? Give this piece of shit what he deserves. Just leave him?

Then he remembers, this wasn't about Joel's revenge, it was about Ellie, and if she wants to leave this horrid place, then so be it, she's been through too much already. Joel most certainly wasn't going to pull the selfish card and subject her to anymore trauma than she's already been through. He'd be no better than Wayne to put her through more of that. Besides, his men are bound to start looking for him eventually when Wayne doesn't come back.

Nodding, Joel submits to her plea as he walks over to her, but not before giving Wayne a glare as he mumbles strained, incoherent words, tugging against the chains that hold him in place. It's almost as if he wants Joel to continue what he was doing, to get back at him for all he did in a way to prove they weren't entirely different from one another and their ways. But they were, and Ellie brought out in Joel where sometimes he should just let it go; to think it'd been years since he finally remembered how too. Besides, slowly turning into an Infected was more painful than anything he could ever come up with. Maybe._  
_

"Okay," He replies softly, "I'm gonna find us a way out of here, you stay here for a bit, yeah?"

He sees her face fall slightly, and her eyes blink at him, trying to muster up the strength she has.

He knew she wasn't entirely okay with it, but he wouldn't bring her out there in the middle of more danger.

Wayne's eyes are wide in a half-fearful, half-antagonistic look as Joel glares at him yet again. He needs to clear path right out of this goddamned place. This fucking twisted, and now infected psychopath can't hurt her anymore than he already has.

Facing back to Ellie, Joel pulls her into him before he mumbles into her hair, "I reckon it'd be safer if you stay here.. i'll be quick."

Joel feels her hair shake slowly in a nod of understanding, and with that acknowledgment he draws back, and Ellie takes a slight step back and leans against the wall with a hand holding her arm. Joel strides over to the door, with this hand on the doorknob, Ellie leniently calls to him, catching his attention and reeling him in like her voice was the only damned thing in the world that deserves to be heard.

"Be careful." She tells him.

In fact, she always tells him this since they got back to Jackson, because she was just as afraid to lose him just as much as Joel was terrified to lose her.

Joel nods before he takes off, and then, it falls quiet. It was just Ellie, in the same room as the man who only catered to her emotional devastation.

It'd be just like David, wouldn't it? Just to grab a blunt object and bash his head in until it was nothing but mush sticking to the ground. She could do it, she knew she fucking could. He was just sitting there, staring at her through two squinted, swollen eyes. But the thing was, she couldn't, she didn't want to amount to him.

Not after all he did to her and Joel, after what he did to her those nights alone in the basement. That depression looms over her and wants to consume her now more than ever. But Ellie fights it as she strands up straight and strong as lead.

Despite her fight against it, she stills feels like she could throw up, sob and curl up in a ball all at the same time. Ellie's eyes continue to stare down at the concrete ground as her mind caves in with thoughts. Tears threaten the corners of her eyes but she swallows hard instead. She was glad she infected this fucking asshole.

Gunshots ring outside there-after, one after the other, and Ellie's muscle tighten. It wasn't Joel dying out there, that much she knows, but she just wants it all to end already so she could get away with Joel far away from here. Even the bottom of a lake seemed more preferable than here.

More gunfire rings outside along with the cries and hollers of men running around, but eventually, their voices die out, along with the gunfire, and everything fades out to nothing but silence again. It must have been only fifteen minutes but it felt longer. Was Joel okay? No, of course he was, damn it.

This whole time she stands there, however, she doesn't take notice as Wayne was trying to talk to her until she unintentionally shifts her eyes up and sees his mouth forming out muffled words that she's glad she doesn't understand. Her eyes burns just by looking and him, and that's what forces Ellie's gaze to look away again.

Her ears go back to blocking out the distorted noises coming from Wayne, and she feels herself growing cold.

She won't let this break her.

When Joel comes back in through the door, her eyes shift up to him, partly relieved, partly ashamed, fresh blood stains his shirt, and both her bag and his was around his shoulders. She didn't even blink twice as she was already in his firm, yet soft embrace as he pulls her along. He makes out words to her that she doesn't quite catch, but doesn't need to respond to anyways.

And since their escape from the camp, they weren't sure how long it's been. But the only thing that matters was that they got as far away as they could get, as far out of the camp as possible before nightfall. Joel knew there were others back there but Joel knew he couldn't help them. He takes care of his own.

And Ellie is all he's fuckin' got.

A fires blazing in front of two sleeping bags Joel lays down in front of it, where he just sits as he tends to his wounds while the medicine he had found and taken did the rest. Ellie was down by the water, where she takes a rag and wipes her face and tries to dry her wet hair.

Joel frowns as he watches her small silhouette in the distance observantly. She's said little since they had gotten here or on their way, but who could blame her?

When she comes back, Joel still looks at her with concentration. Her hair was down, and he notices it's getting quite long. Her face now looks somewhat better after it was cleaned, but the cuts and bruises are what didn't wash off with the dirt.

With the fresh clothes Joel had grabbed and changed into, Ellie had done the same. She wore a plain-white t-shirt with dark jeans, all of which seemed fine if the t-shirt didn't show off the bruises on her arms that took the shape of hand marks and boot prints. Goddamn.

Rotating the pot of water warming up by the fire, Joel glances at her again as she sits down next to him.

"I got us some cans of food," Joel offers, "You hungry?"

"Yeah, I guess." Is all she says, and Joel slides a can of open can of beans to her.

"Ellie, if you want to talk about i-"

"I don't." She retorts quickly as she takes the can in her hands, twirling around the spoon in it before she scoops a small amount in her mouth, chewing slowly.

Joel sighs as he pulls the heated pot off to the side, letting it cool. He looks to her again as she continues to eat in silence, her face is blank as she looks mindlessly into the fire. So much was going through her mind, Joel knows it; he just still doesn't know what to say, there was too much that's happened.

Maybe Ellie was right, maybe for now it was best if he didn't say anything at all. That they revel in the quiet they needed.

But Joel knows that come tomorrow, that'd be another day he'll try again.


	10. Everything

_**"Pain doesn't go away, you just make room for it."**_

* * *

Another sunset, another day's worth of walking, another day of absolute silence, and it's been two days since they left Wayne's camp.

Ellie hasn't said much.

Joel watches as she walks closely him, her head hanging lower than it usually does despite her best effort to keep her chin held up.

He sighs.

By now, he would have settled for anything from her, whether it was one of those damned jokes from one of her cheesy books that he hates so much. Although, all she can give him is a little smile or a laugh when Joel tries his absolute hardest to lighten the somber mood that now loiters on a daily basis.

Well, it's better than nothing.

Ellie follows him in each step, scavenging supplies quietly as they make their way along.

Either way, Joel still feels overwhelmed by the sudden peak in silence. The worst part in it all, knowing that no matter what he did, it never seems to have any effect on her. He felt helpless in knowing that he couldn't do anything for her right now, in knowing that she was weakened even more at the seams because this world was so fucking cruel and it ate away at anything that was different.

The first year they were together did a number, and now this journey only added to that. David, now Wayne.

Hey, at least both were dead.

Wayne was a Stalker by now, and a good thing too that son of a bitch was suffering, because at least Ellie wasn't the only one. On another note, there have been hardly any run-ins with Infected today was something to be optimistic about in a sense. Only a few Clickers and Runners meant saving more bullets in the long run. Shifting his backpack on his slumped shoulders, Joel threw another glance back at Ellie, her lips are curved downward as she kicks a few stones around her sneakers.

Joel then wonders about Tommy, and the rest of the families. If they're okay, still alive, and where they could be right now. A part of him forces it all down, and tells him not to worry about anything else other than Ellie right now. Tommy and everyone else couldn't have been worse off than her, right?

Forcing up what humor he had, Joel cracks a small smile, his eyes looking to Ellie.

"Ellie, why can't a bicycle stand on it's own?"

Her chin tips up, and she looks at him, she says nothing, and her eyes just show that she's more tired than anything else.

Nonetheless, Joel lets out a low chuckle, "Because it's two-tired."

He waits a moment, for anything. Just a smile, a light chuckle, and she does slightly. For a second Joel thinks most of her is there until her eyes cast downward yet again, and she shifts her bag with her arm. Joel's posture worsens, and he frowns a bit.

The sun's falling lower and lower, and the sky is already a deep hue of blue. Darkness was encroaching on them, and that's when Joel's finger points to one small house that seems more better off than all the others. It'd have to do for the night.

"We'll have to stay there until morning." He states gently, his feet walking over, with Ellie's following close behind.

When they enter, Ellie stands there absentmindedly for an undetermined period of time. She listens blankly to the small creaks and the groans of the old house. It's getting colder outside, and she can feel herself getting goosebumps. But maybe that's also because she can feel Wayne as if he's standing behind her.

"Ellie?" Joel asks, an eyebrow raised, and suddenly he's right in front of her.

"Yeah?" She replies, slightly lost.

"C'mon." He repeats, taking into the house.

The two eventually find and hold up in the main bedroom upstairs, and Joel quickly starts a fire. She was fucking exhausted, and the house was getting colder.

Ellie watches vacuously as he pulls out a thin blanket from his pack that he must have taken back at Wayne's camp. He stands directly in front of her, wrapping the warm material around her shoulders. He then goes off into another part of the house for some time, probably to search around, and Ellie sits by the fire as she shivers whilst her mind draws more damned blanks.

Eventually Joel comes back, and it ends up with him holding a damp rag and him pressing it up against her face where some of the light purple bruises and small cuts still were. Those fuckers. Well, they weren't as bad but they were still evident and there. God could only hope the rest of her body was healing just as well too.

"I had to do it." She finally admits, "If I didn't you would've died."

"Hey, everything's gonna be just fine." Joel consoles, his rag wiping the bridge of her nose.

It's a promise this time, a real one.. he won't let her down, he won't-

"I just want you to know, that i'd do it all again if it meant keeping you safe." She states, and Joel's stomach sinks.

God, despite her display in loyalty and love towards him, Joel wouldn't ever want Ellie to go through that torture for a second time, not for him, not for anybody. But still, her words fill him with that warmth and love he hasn't felt for a long time.

Joel leans forward, almost hopefully, "Ellie, i'd do anything to make sure you don't have to."

And he feels enlightened when Ellie gives him a smile and it was as if his whole goddamned world changed again. Because he knows that he loves her and he knows he almost lost her again. He could _still_ lose her to God knows whatever else is out there waiting for them.

And no matter what it was, or when it came, he knew that even if the world kept getting worse and worse, he'll continue to hold onto her.

Because it's beyond whatever words he could say or whatever actions he could show. It's beyond all that. Because to Joel he knows that it's only one word: Everything. She is his everything now, and shit, he can't lose another person how he lost Tess or Sarah, and he won't ever let Ellie get hurt like this again.

Because that was his job now.


	11. Purpose

**_"So _****_long as we're together, we'll get by._****_"_**

* * *

Joel's wasn't sure how to react when they came across Tommy. Fucking Tommy.

There was this troubled sort of look going back and forth between them that showed both shock, relief, confusion, and everything tied in with it. Ellie was quiet, and showed a very uncharacteristic display of shyness when she stood slightly behind Joel. When the metaphorical wall and exchange of silence had broken, and the very taut formalities were made, the two found themselves reunited with Tommy and back at a camp they set up.

Tents were up, in which Joel briefly contemplated how they managed to find those, and a small fire was going. However, it was obvious that everything was much worse than it seemed to look at first glance. The numbers in the group noticeably diminished since Joel and Ellie were last with them.

The world worked in hopeful, yet cruel ways.

Tommy notices Joel's and Ellie's state, yet he doesn't comment on it until he sends Ellie off to the group's medic with Joel's permission to get herself checked out. That was sometime ago, and Tommy had offered Joel to join her, but he refuses. Ellie had deserved so much than him, and after all she'd been through at that. Although, a medic couldn't do much to fix the ailment in her head. That was the thing about physical marks.

Fuck, at least those were temporary.

After checking up on the group, Tommy pulls Joel off to the side away from the camp for some privacy. He tended to do that a lot, Joel mindlessly noticed.

"So what in the Sam hell happened to you two?" Tommy inquires in concern, and Joel really wish he hadn't.

Gruffly, he attempts his best to veer off the sensitive subject.

"I could ask you the same thing." Joel replies, motioning to the lacking numbers in his group.

"I asked you first."

_Goddammit._

"We just.." He sighs, "We ran into trouble."

Tommy laughs in spite of Joel and Ellie's obvious poor condition, clearly knowing that there was plenty Joel wasn't telling him. Regardless, his older brother shoots him a glare that makes his stance grow firm, and makes his hand raise precariously.

"Easy, Joel." Tommy says gently, clearing his throat uncomfortably, "Just seems there's more to it you ain't tellin' me."

"I don't need to tell you nothin'." He retorts, his arms folding.

Sighing at his brother's reluctance, Tommy runs a hand casually through his hair, his eyes shifting to Joel, his group, then back to Joel.

"We ran into trouble too," He tells him in a low voice, "Why do you think' our numbers are so damn low?"

Joel says nothing to this, and continues to listen with a blank stare, this over anything that's related to the events of Wayne's camp.

Wayne.

The words are so bitter in his mouth, it makes him want to just cut his tongue off to rid himself of the taste. The fine hairs on his arms perk up.

"Bandits, Infected holding us down and coming after us, next damn thing we know nine in our group is gone."

Joel shakes his head in despondence, and Tommy mimics him.

"Surprised we found you," His brother then says, his voice sounding more uplifted, "For a while I kept thinking you both we-"

A loud shout through what sounds like a choked sob ripples in the distance, and judging from the noises, Joel immediately picks up on it and distinguishes it as no one else but Ellie. Tommy couldn't so much as blink before Joel goes into a mode of pure defense. His revolver draws from his holster in seconds, his boot turn full force in the other direction and he storms over to the source of the noise. If someone was going to hurt Ellie they'd have another thing coming. Joel may have missed the opportunity with Wayne, but he's still got a fuckload of nightmare fodder running around in his head already - So what's one more?

He sees Ellie wiping her eyes, visibly uncomfortable. In that moment Joel's world revolves around that, and making her feel right again. He reaches out a hand to her in a form of care and comfort, but to his discouragement, she hastily swats his hand away, roughly shoving past him and a confused Tommy.

"Don't touch me." She murmurs gruffly through a clenched jaw.

In a split-second decision, Joel decides whether to go after Ellie, or the person who made her feel this way. He's more lenient towards that decision and before anybody knows it he storms into the tent, his revolver firmly in hand. He wouldn't let another person make her feel any less than she already felt. Joel's nostrils flared, and his gun raised up until he realized it was a woman, who could only stare at him in pure fear, her brown eyes similar to a deer caught in headlights.

"What did you do!" He snaps and the woman only stares at him in pure shock and bewilderment, her hands raise up in a defensive reaction, and at first she's unsure of what to say, or what he means at first until she's able to process it. Because she knows it's Tommy brother's and she knows about him and Ellie. Much to her relief, Tommy, the man of the hour, storms in and pushes Joel's arm down to lower the gun for him.

"Joel!" Tommy grits out through a tightened jaw.

The woman manages to form words and lets out a low breath, afraid that one wrong word could cost her life.

"I-I just did a check up her," She explains as timidly as possible, her hands lowering before clasping together nervously.

Joel twitches, almost beckoning for her to continue.

She chews on her bottom lip briefly, swallowing her courage, "I asked her to tell me about her recent injuries is all-"

The air is dead quiet, and the tension is large in concentration.

Swallowing a lump in her throat, her steady voice falters, "She agreed, and she told me what happened about-"

She freezes again, she knows it's a sensitive topic. "There's-"

Fuck, she can't find it in her to come out with it, much to Joel's disapproval, she stops and tries to collect herself as her eyes cast down.

"Tell. Me." Joel demands, his hand holding the revolver lifting slightly up, but Tommy keeps his brother's hand lowered firmly.

Tommy whispers sternly. "Easy."

The woman knew these words were going to make all hell break loose, and she just can't muster the courage. "She was-"

Either way it does, and Joel catches on, and fuck, the revelation hits him like the weight of the world, and at first he thinks his ears are deceiving him, but the reality of realizing his ears weren't lying was all the more painful. His legs grew heavy, and he felt like he had been punched right through his chest.

"He didn't, you know.. but he-" She shakes her head in disdain, "She didn't want to talk about it anymore, so she ran off.."

Joel's face lowers to stare at the ground, one of his fists clenched while the other pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to find, somehow, someway, just a way to stop himself from snapping. She never told him, she never said anything. And now he left that fucking piece of shit with an easier way out. He's so overwhelmed he's shaking with unfathomable fury. His heart is beating so hard he just might as well have a fucking heart attack. Flight is all he thinks as he grips the fabric at the opening of the tent before storming out, he rips it out completely by its seams, mentally wishing it was Wayne's skin.

The woman can only frown and stand completely still, watching as Tommy follows closely behind Joel, trying to keep him calm, and potentially prevent people from being killed. The other's in the camp watched wide-eyed as Joel took off into the direction Ellie went, Tommy trying to get him to stop walking off while seeing red without getting physical. There shouldn't be anymore accidents happening.

"Joel- I'm sorry, but you need to calm-"

Apparently not being physical wasn't an option. Joel growls as he turns straight around, his eyes red, and Tommy's not sure if it's anger or imminent tears.

It looked more like both.

"He put his fuckin' hands on her, Tommy!"

Tommy didn't know who 'he' was, and can only cringe at the word, he's caught completely off guard, now slightly unsure of what else to say.

Joel grinds his teeth so hard he feels like they might just crack, and he's trying so hard not to just breakdown where he stood. His voice comes out riotous and he just feels like falling down on his fucking knees and crying. What kind of man was he, anyway?

"He did that to her, and-" He sucks in a sharp breath, that feeling of dismay bubbling in him, "And, where the hell was I to protect her?!"

Joel saw, but ignored the inexplicable look on his brother's face; probably desperately searching for the right way to sympathetically console or come up with a way to comfort him and the trauma Ellie had to go through. He holds his brother back, restraining the absolute failure along with hatred that welled up inside him. Joel goes to storm off, find Ellie, fucking hold her and be there for her, and even after that Joel's not sure what to do, maybe he should just punch something until his knuckles bled dry. Maybe put a fucking bullet in his head for failing her yet again and being so useless-

"Joel!" Tommy breathes out, now forcefully holding his brother back so hard by his shoulders the bones in his wrists began to ache. "Listen to me-"

Joel gets close in his face, and the look painted on his stone cold expression could drop any man dead, but Tommy's stance remains firm. Joel feels like he could just knock Tommy down on his ass and start beating his goddamned face in. He didn't have a clue on how he was feeling or going through, not one. Also, who the fuck did he think he was to tell him to listen to him, let alone pretend that everything would be alright even after it was all over.

It was never alright, and it would never be. It's nothing but false hope. Who even knows if Ellie would ever be alright again.

"This isn't your fault for what happened to her.. You did what you could-"

"Save it." Joel spits rancorously, before shoving off his brothers iron grip. His eyes are dark, and he could feel his face sizzling.

He needed to get away from his brother, and everyone. He couldn't be around anybody. He needed to find Ellie.

"Not.. a goddamn _word_ until we get to Louisiana."

The sentence whirls out razor-sharp. Joel's body shifts and his boots kick up dirt as he treads away, leaving Tommy in a shaken quake.

Just as Joel begins to walk off with a clouded, infuriated mind with all the things he wish he could have done to Wayne, he manages to catch himself with one last thought. Stopping mid-walk momentarily, his head turns slowly over his shoulder to glare at his still, aghast brother.

"Nobody." He states coldly. "Nobody goes near her but me, understand?"

Joel's little brother can only nod in agreement, and watch with a hollow gaze as he storms off quickly, reminiscent to a burning fuse. If there was any sane person out there who didn't have a death wish, they would listen to his words of caution.

* * *

Ellie is now laying on the ground in the dirt, she's thrown her bag away in the bushes and now she's just curled up in a ball just shaking. She can feel the anxiety consuming her, and her breaths coming out pained and harsh, it's a full-blown panic attack, and she can't do anything else but shut her eyes. Although even in that attempted method to calm down, she can only re-live the dreadful tremors whirling around in her head.

She doesn't want Joel to find her, she doesn't want anybody to come after her. She thought she could fool herself into making everyone else think, make Joel think, that inside she still had something good left to take from all of this. But when she removes Joel from the picture, she really has nothing else left.

Riley was gone.

Sam and Henry were gone.

Her mother was gone.

Everything good she had before was gone. She keeps her eyes closed, trying so hard not to sob, but to no avail.

_Because she remembers it all too __well.. like it just happened all over again._

_She's wailing, cursing at Wayne, thrashing, trying to punch him. She's acting out so loud that it ripples through the air and bounces off the walls. Loud enough to even shatter a window if there was one nearby. It's uproarious and comes out like a blubbering mess. She's laying flat on her back, her hands still caught in those rusty, painful fucking chains; and Wayne's just sitting there, eyeing her.. staring at her incessantly. She feels sick and wants to vomit through her muffled mouth. She looks around, trying to find something, anything to get out. Calling out for Joel is useless. Maybe if she had a machete she could kill him like she did David._

_His mundane staring stops, and he comes up to her, his nails dig into her hips. God, her protests for him to get off her are so much more clamorous now, so high and strained she feels like her throat is on fire and that her vocal chords would shatter. She's squirming and she feels so disgustingly dirty that for a bare moment she just shuts her eyes and tries to scoot her legs away from him, but he puts himself in a position that prevents her from doing so._

_"Don't be like that." Wayne cooes, craning his head upward._

_His breath is hot and it lights a match in her stomach before it drops down to her knees. She wants to scrub her skin raw, and she wants to fucking kill him already. Because she knows that even if she had soap and all the water in the world she couldn't clean the filth that he put on her off even if she scrubbed for the rest of her life, she couldn't clean the feeling David left on her, and he was no different._

_She feels a hand and she lets out a yelp as she jerks, and hard. __So forcefully, that Wayne shifts on top of her._

_"Don't fucking touch me!" She barks._

_Which she's then greeted with a smack to the face at her resistance, following something he mutters to her that her buzzing ears can't make out._

_This was far worse than David, far worse. The fact he tried this was enough to scar her. But it was happening again but this time it was evidently real and the worst part was that Ellie has to accept it, and that there's no way around it this time. God she just wants to curl up in a ball because at least that still retains more dignity than what's she's unwillingly going through in this moment. Why, just fucking why..?_

_His bony, thin fingers lift and trail up her shirt, his cold fingers giving her hot skin goosebumps as the other hand circles. His hand gropes against her and it feels like he's crushing her chest. She continues to try to kick him off and draws her chin up._

_Everything feels unbearably slow, and her ears are ringing. It just gets to the point where she's drained her energy so much that she ends up putting herself in a state of numbness. She's now unresponsive, bitter, angry, but most deadly of all, quiet. Everything feels like it's draining from her. Why. Why. Why._

_It's painful, mentally and physically. She puts herself back in Tommy's settlement with Joel. Back to after they had forgiven each other, back when she finally realized that he may have been selfish, but Marlene was no better. That maybe after all they'd been through.. sure it may have been for nothing, but she deserved a proper life, regardless of how hard it is. She remembers them finally having a home of their own.. no longer long days and nights on the road. They had a home._

_Joel finally started smiling again, and just thinking of how he did made everything in the moment seem more dull, more numb than it could have already been._

_Her mother would have been so happy to see how he took care of her. She would have been proud to see he did what Marlene could have never done.  
Given up everything else to keep her safe. To keep her happy, breathing, and alive._

_The physical pain stops, and after what feels like hours she feels Wayne get off of her, she's trying to not let what he just told her sink in, but it does, and it cements itself in her head. He feels satisfied, and leaves her alone as he walks out, just letting her lay there. Blank, quiet, not even crying, just.. detached from reality._

_Please let the good things that are left in this world be worth all this._

_The gag slips off her mouth and Ellie quickly props herself up, tilting her head over the side and instantly began to heave through exhaled sobs and more curses. Her stomach clenching painfully with every gag. The bile just managing to avoid her clothes, and soon, all she was left doing was dry-heaving, and even that offered minimal relief._

_Because no amount of heaving could fix this.. this pain._

_What else could the world take away from her? How long before they took Joel? Before they took her?_

_She doesn't want to think about that, she's strong.. she won't let this break her, like David did. Not this time._

* * *

She comes back to reality when she feels a pair of arms pull her into a familiar embrace, and Ellie doesn't even need to waste energy in forming guesses as to who it was or who it could be, because out of all the faces in the crowd, she knows only one person. Joel.

She can hear him as he just clutches her like she's fragile, and maybe in the moment she doesn't like to admit she is. He's muttering something in her hair. His voice sounds worn-out, unsure, confused, and over-all apologetic. He keeps repeating sorry over and over hoping for it to get through to her.. he's just trying to explain how fucking sorry he is for not being there, for not saving her or for stopping it before it happened like he always does. But it's not his fault.. it's not his fault.

Stop crying, she tells herself, stop crying.

His arm is so tight around her and her face is pressing hard into his chest that she can no longer hold it inside. She hiccups and wracks out a loud, shaking sob, and Joel just cradles her, his other hand on her head, smoothing over her hair, he keeps muttering words, his apologies, and other things that she can't quite make out. She's just so caught up in being in the place that felt the safest in the world, where she knew nobody could hurt her anymore. With Joel.

He's not even angry or guilty anymore, he's been reduced and melted down past that point, he's on the verge of crying, she can feel it, and slightly hear it when her ears shift back from hearing him apologize and tell her it's okay, that they'll be okay.. that they _were_ okay; before shifting back to ringing, leaving everything silent.

She remembers what her Mom told her in that note she always kept in her bag as a reminder.

_"Remember that life is worth living,_

_Find your purpose and fight for it.."_

The words held some merit, Ellie believed that much. Was this her purpose? It wasn't being the cure, and to save the people who didn't deserve a vaccine. It wasn't just solely trying to get by and survive. Maybe it was trying to be the light in someone who was just as broken as she was. Maybe that's why she kept on fighting, and hadn't even thought about giving up on Joel and leaving him behind, not once.

They were two desperate people, and they needed each other, they couldn't live any other way anymore; that was the one good thing left in this world that she knew, no matter what, was worth all this. Did everything happen for a reason?

"It's okay, it's okay." Joel tells her promisingly, and he swallows a hard lump in his throat.

Ellie's feels herself grow more calm, and she lets herself nod against his chest. And strangely enough, despite the conflicting feelings of hope and dejection Ellie felt within, she knew she might be. Because as long as they believed in the sole purpose of staying together, they could get through anything, that was fact.

This, being eachother's lifeline, being another's hope; that carries beyond things that were understandable, and easily explained. No matter what journey it was they had to go on, whether it was a million times over. They would eventually find peace.. together. That, that was her purpose. And it was Joel's too, because they both know what they have is worth it, more than anything, and just as her mother had asked her.

She would sure as hell fight for it.


	12. All Holed Up

**_"Courage is not having the strength to go on, it is going on when you don't have the strength."_**

* * *

Two and a half weeks pass by.

They're in Kansas now with slight delay, but it's a surprise they actually made it, that much is certain; but they've still got a long way to go.

It's better than nothing.

Majority of the group walks ahead of Joel and Ellie in a cluster, muttering and chatting among themselves to make the walking a bit more bearable. The children hold their parents hands as they walk carelessly, occasionally glancing back at Joel and Ellie before looking forward again. Maria and Tommy are of course, at the head of the group, leading everyone down the long highway, every now and then scavenging what they can from the abandoned cars and other things along the way.

It was a pain, just a goddamned pain.

Tommy agrees to Joel's cautious warning, and nobody, not one person has gone near him or Ellie since their return after the events at Wayne's camp.

If they had, Tommy knows some light of what would happen if they did.

It's been a very long time coming since Joel held someone's hand, and he didn't realize how long it was until he realized how much he's fucking missed it. He has done it several times with Sarah when she was little, but that was a torn leaf that had long since blown over.

But here and now, walking in the light, he held Ellie's hand tight, trying to give her the strength and reminder that he was always there. His hand is so big compared to hers, yet it fits perfectly. Everything is okay.. it's okay.

Although, he's clutching hers a bit too tight, because he thinks if he let's go even for half of a second she'll get hurt again.. and he doesn't ever, not ever want that to happen again, no, he's not going to fail anymore. Regardless of his ranting thoughts, Ellie lets him anyway and ignores the spasms of numbness in her hand, in fact, she sort of encourages it. She doesn't want to be away from him ever again, even for a damn second.

Ellie's seems off, much to Joel's unwillingness, and in so many aspects. She seems unaffected but at the same time she is anyways, like she's trying to not let anything affect her as much as it used to. But she's coming off more on edge, anxious, and can her sleeps bad again, and she'll wake up screaming, cursing, clutching to Joel in a deathly panic, or all of the above. Some others in the group are starting to get anxious about it.

The only time she ever feels somewhat relaxed to the full extent is only when she's around Joel, like he's her own personal medication to remedy her suffering. This merciless world had yet again put her at the doorstep of grizzly scenes, murder, cannibalism, and sexual assault. Rupturing old wounds that had slowly begun to heal and mold over. Ellie was doing remarkably well, considering everything, and Joel thought he was on the path of preserving Ellie's innocence.

Although, Joel knew that it was becoming increasingly clear that all the demons and distressing experiences that unnerved her loitered just beneath the thin surface of safety and consolation. All it takes is the right trigger, moment, or word to fully unleash these feelings and it would willingly rein havoc in her mind again.

She's holding her pistol in her other hand, and it swings gently alongside her as she treads slowly, her head hanging low; and she speaks less as per the usual again. It's odd, because in combat she remains brutal, still making out calls to people and to Joel if they're in danger, and she doesn't hesitate to put down a Runner by shooting it dead between it's eyes. Then once it's all over, she falls blank, and dead quiet again, like she's just so used to the mundane routine of just getting by. They were all here now because of her after-all, and she constantly reminded herself of this fact every hour of the day.

It has to get better.

_It just has too._

Joel briefly switches from looking at the road then down at her, and every time he fucking looks at her his heart sinks further into his chest. He wishes that he could take on the damned world just to fix this, to fix her again, and everything going on in her corrupted mind; but how can you change what's been done? He wanted her to change for the better, to fulfill his promise to give her a better life. He would, he would fucking give it to her. As soon as they finished this, they'd have the best life they could ask for in a place like this; together.

Eventually, they make it into Oakley, and it's some deathly quiet, abandoned, overgrown wasteland which could be put into that classification along with the majority of every other place in the world. A massive storm picked up in the distance and swiftly came closer mindlessly, so Tommy and Maria rounded up everyone for refuge inside an old house. It's slightly, no, _really_ cramped, and some lay on the floor to rest.

Ellie and Joel are upstairs with some of the others, laying in the wide open floors in the living room to wait, even sleep until the heavy storm passed. Although, it seemed everyone was more lenient towards sleeping.

The sky was now a dull, dark hue of gray, and the thick clouds swirled as it spat rain drops by the thousands out of the sky. A sudden crack of thunder ripples out in surprise, and Ellie's tenses as she rests with her head on Joel's chest. He attempts his best to soothe her by lowering his arm lovingly around her, and pulling her closer into him. He starts to gently rub her back, just like he would with Sarah when she was upset. _But, God, this was so much different._

Ellie's in a state like that of a petrified small child, and she just so mindlessly crumples like a leaf into him. It wasn't even the thunder that was scaring her, it was everything else that did, and had happened to her. Now she's on the verge of another full-blown nervous breakdown again, and the weight on her shoulders keeps growing more burdensome. How much more of this could she take before she finally broke for good?

She had, no, needed to remember that no matter what, she would be okay, her and Joel both would be okay.. they _were_ okay.

"Hey-" Joel whispers softly, and he can feel her trembling as her fingernails curl tighter around his shirt, forming small wrinkles in it.

"You're okay," He reassures. What else can he do? "I'm here, I'm here."

He thinks she's just scared in the moment and in everything else, but he knows it's so much more than simply fear. Maybe it's just a pathetic attempt on his part to make it all seem better than it really was. He knows what her silence signifies. He breathes out little reassurances to ease her in just such a desperate tone that it can only make Ellie shrivel up even more in her silence.

She sucks in a sharp breath and clings to him harder, trying her hardest to get herself together. The unfathomable amount of this fucking depressing feeling inside her is solidified in every damned breath she's huffing through red cheeks.

"I know-" She mumbles, and it's barely audible for anyone else other than Joel to hear. He presses her closer as he continues to hush her, he just didn't want to hear it. She had not one, not one thing to be fucking sorry for, he's the one who should be apologizing.

His hand smooths over her hair and she noticeably relaxes, "We're gonna find a nice place to live 'for good once this is all over, yeah?"

She doesn't say anything, but Joel decides that she doesn't have too, maybe just talking good thoughts would suffice, there was nothing else he could do. So he just lays there, mumbling little if's and when's, and eventually it's enough to make her doze off into a light sleep. Joel doesn't join her, instead, just lays there like a large bear, just cradling her and shielding her from the vacant stares and horrid, impeding thoughts.

He can feel his eyelids grow heavy until the sound of a soft-spoken woman to his right calls his attention, he looks to see her propped up against the wall, her face looks tired, and her long brown hair is barely held together in a messy braid, a small little boy with shaggy hair is curled up in her lap. Joel blinks at her as she looks at Ellie with blue, soft, sympathetic eyes.

"She's going to be okay." She insists, and her voice is warm with cogency. Although, Joel's not sure whether to scoff or remain silent at her comment. Either didn't seem to fit because of her obvious kind, and unalloyed intentions; besides, he knew better. She was the first to say something to them since back at Wyoming.

He gives her a distorted smile, nodding in acknowledgement with a curt reply, "I sure hope so."

The woman's little boy shifts underneath who obviously seemed to be his mother and she adjusts her thin legs so he's more comfortable, her long fingers began to run through his hair absentmindedly as she watches Joel's embrace on Ellie remain constant; strong, affectionate, and reassuring. She pauses slightly, trying to muster the words without unintentionally patronizing him.

"It's hard, I get it.." She finally says, before shifting her gaze down to her son lovingly, but even in the dim light, Joel can see her eyes visibly change. They aren't as sympathetic, but rather, empathetic.

"It's hard raising a kid in a new world like this," She adds, before tipping her chin back up to Joel, giving him a fond look.

"But as long as she's got someone like you in her life who loves her.. she'll recover." She cracks another quaint smile, "Trust me."

He wanted to believe that, hell, maybe it was the truth, he knew they were each other's missing link. Joel could just only hope that this time around, even though it was worse than what she'd been through before, she could still be the same old Ellie he knew in the first few months he met her. Blame torn up his insides at that notion. He couldn't believe he ignored her all that time when she was still that outgoing and openly expressive.. what he wouldn't give to change that.

He nods at her wishful thinking, "Appreciate it."

"I'm Sophia, by the way." She greets simply, "I think I caught your name is Joel?"

"You're observant." Joel retorts blandly.

Sophia snorts. "Well you won't survive if your head's in the clouds, now will you?"

Joel adjusts his weight and Ellie shifts on his chest, his hand continues to smooth over her hair thoughtlessly, "Guess not."

The sound of footsteps come up the stairs, and Joel relaxes when he sees that it's Tommy. His voice is very low, but loud enough for everyone to hear. He looks fucking exhausted, like he's just had it with the day.

"It's getting late, and the rain won't let up.. y'all mind holdin' up here for the night?"

Most people shake their heads and none say anything in objection. Tommy nods as he walks off, seeming satisfied that nobody disagreed, but before his feet take off he briefly looks at Joel and gives him a somber look, much to which Joel quickly catches, but isn't sure how to acknowledge it, so he says nothing of it.

Sophia tilts her head back and closes her eyes as she lays her arms over her son, the smile on her features remaining idle. "Have a good night, Joel."

"Yeah, you too." He replies so quietly that he's not even sure she heard it. And before he knows it, both her, and everyone around them is asleep.

Everyone but him.

It didn't seem right at all to try to sleep along with everyone else when he knew that Ellie could wake up at any minute, and he wanted to be there the very moment she needed him. It was just the right thing to do, anything less wasn't ever going to be enough. Thoughts keep him busy nonetheless, and he finds himself thinking about just, everything. Everything that did happen, just happened, and what will or could happen.

Once they dealt with the rest of the Fireflies, maybe this Vincent guy Tommy told him about would let them stay in his town when it was all over. And maybe, just maybe, him and Ellie could finally find the resolution they needed. A couple of hours pass in his slow train of thought, and it was quiet for that little while, just the ambient sounds of the rain and rumbles of thunder.

_Was._

Everyone is still fast asleep when Ellie wakes up, much to Joel expectation, but he was ready for it. Ellie quickly finds herself huddling against Joel and immediately clings to him harder as she starts quietly mumbling and swearing away from the terrors that tore her from rest. She feels ashamed to seem so weak and uncontainable that she let every terrible thing take advantage of getting the best of her yet again. Joel could feel her trying to stop herself instead of letting it out to make herself feel better.

He simultaneously listens to her attempts to stop her tears, but a few slip out irregardless, and the rain that was pounding at the window, begging to be let in, screaming that it was too cold outside. Ellie stays clinging to him, unwilling to move an inch anywhere. He keeps her there in an overdrive of paternal instinct.

If the damned Earth was allowed to breakdown like this, then maybe she can too.


	13. Ain't No Rest For The Wicked

_**"Just when you think the hard-comings have long passed, you know better than to believe that."**_

* * *

She's getting there, at least that was something.. something to hope for.

Heh, maybe Sophia was right.

It's been a little while, and they're a ways away from the border into Oklahoma. Hardly any incidents occurred within the group, other than the occasional people getting sick, which halted the group a few days, but over-all everyone stayed in good shape when everyone did their part with setting up camp every night, hunted for food, and scavenged for supplies. There hadn't been any losses.. yet.

Ellie's grown this close friendship with Sophia over the weeks, which was so hopeful. It was sort of like the one she used to have with Marlene in a sense, which seems fucking terrible, but the thing was it was much different given the context.

Ellie even became friends with her nine-year-old boy, Daniel who takes a special fondness in her, seeing her as this badass to look up too as he tries to mimic her every move. Joel also took a fondness in Sophia as Ellie did, appreciating her contributions to benefiting Ellie's recovery and well-being. Although, there was nothing beyond that, he saw her as a fighter, kindred spirit, ally, and friend. He was certain Sophia felt the same way in return, and that was perfectly fine for him.

There was no time for that. Ellie was all he needs, it's all he can afford to care about anymore.

It was this, and over-all the growing easiness of their journey did Ellie slowly start to let thing mold over the scabs of the past. Things happen, and we move on, he always tells her, but he somehow managed to forget that it's easier said than done; especially after what she's gone through on multiple occasions. Joel saw every opportunity to make her feel more acceptance with this whole journey, and constantly reminded her that once it was all over, they'd never have to worry again.

After Ellie's daily visit with the group's main doctor, who also contributed to her slow healing process, Joel waited for her outside the tent, and when she walked out, he smiled, but frowned a little eternally. She walked normal, and looked more normal now, but there was still that feeling that nothing was fully right with her yet.

_"These things take time." He reminds himself mentally, "You've been there too, after-all." _

"How're you feelin'?" Joel asks, putting a concerned hand on Ellie's shoulder, she looks up to him and shrugs casually, "Good, I think."

"Good." He replies before a brief pause, "Do you uh- mind hangin' out here for a while?"

He watches Ellie's nose flare up and her eyes dart up at him anxiously.

"Don't worry-" He declares before she even has a chance to protest, "I'll be fine, you just relax 'til I get back."

Surely enough, she gives in and agrees. After Joel hugs her close in a goodbye, vowing to return like he always does, Ellie ends up roaming a little ways outside the camp, her gun held firmly in hand as she walks through the trees, and past the lake near their campsite. Stopping in her step, she looks and observes the water, watching the way the sun rays ripple over the surface. An array of small flowers is all sorts of colors grew around it, and for a moment Ellie almost wanted to go in.

_Almost._

She can't even swim anyway, and at the re-collection of Wayne forcing her to feel the sensation of drowning made her fear of water grow bigger, and she wished it didn't. That motherfucker got what was coming.

Her legs suddenly feel heavy, but she remembers the doctor's advice to not let a trigger fuck her over. Quickly, her thoughts avert the moment her eyes did from the water, and she continues walking, kicking stones as she listens to the sounds of the birds flying from one rocking tree branch to the next.

Eventually, she makes her way back to the camp, and finds Sophia sitting on one of the stumps, watching Daniel huff as he chases the other kids around the trees.

Ellie perks up at seeing her, and slowly, her sneakers pick up as she starts to walk towards her. Not to her surprise, her and Sophia strike up a conversation that ends up taking more time than they'd thought. Although, neither of them minded. It went from one subject, to another, and somehow after all their talking and taking a break for lunch, they ended up back at the two stumps, sitting together, while Sophia braided Ellie's.

Slowly, Sophia re-did the pattern as she grabbed three sections of Ellie's hair, making sure it was perfect before she twisted them all together, one over the other, letting some loose pieces fall down the side of her face until it formed a messy, yet well-kept side braid. Ellie's red hair looked much so nicer now that it had been cleaned up, brushed, and wasn't always held up in that high ponytail of hers. Maybe that's why she'd get those damned headaches now and then.

Sophia ties the end of the braid with Ellie's ponytail and smiles triumphantly. "Perfect, now face me!"

Ellie can hear the smile in her voice as she sheepishly turns herself around on the stump. Sophia's beaming smile was definitely there as it usually was, and it could only grow even wider after she first lets out a breathless gasp. Ellie's cheeks burned as they immediately flushed bright red, and she almost wanted to just tuck her face into her pullover hoodie and pull the strings shut.

"You look really nice, Ellie." She compliments genuinely, "We match now."

"Thanks." Ellie replies shyly as she looks down at her braid with curiosity, "Where did you learn to do this?"

"Ah, my mom taught me and my two sisters when we were little." She explains, her face glowing at the faint recollection of the memory, but Ellie could see that beyond her nostalgia, there was a distant pain behind her washed out blue eyes. She laughs in spite of Ellie's mental observation.

"And after that we always walked around with all our hair braided." Motioning to her own braid in her hair, she shrugs, "Old habits die hard, I guess."

Ellie expresses amusement, "That must've been nice.. I wish my Mom could've taught me that stuff."

Sophia frowns, ".. I'm sorry to hear that," but Ellie's quick to brush it off, and after a moment of trice, Sophia quirks an eyebrow.

"Y'know I could teach you now if you'd like?"

"Oh no," Ellie imposes, now beginning to stand up in objection, "You don't have t-"

"Only if you want-" Sophia counters, "Joel and Tommy's group are out scavenging, and the kids are still playing."

Eventually, Ellie slowly sit herself back down and turns her over to look behind her only to see said little children and their parents playing some kind of game, along with other kids and parents who joined in as Maria and others sat around the fire, laughing as they watch contently.

"Besides," Sophia shrugs, "I think you deserve a nice day just as much as everyone else."

Ellie's slight elation falters, "Not when I'm the one who got us here."

Sophia shakes her head in despondence, "You're immune, Ellie. and some people want to exploit that from you."

Ellie noticeably flinches when Sophia leans forward and her hand meets her shoulder in a means of comfort, but Ellie doesn't do anything beyond that, or reject it when Sophia gives it a firm, reassuring squeeze. "But no matter what, we're all family here."

The words lay heavily on Ellie, and she feels the pit of her stomach clench.

"We stick together, through good, and bad." Sophia smiles, "Right?"

Ellie swallows, nodding back in agreement, and Sophia retracts her hand back, "Don't feel guilty."

At least there was some comfort in knowing that maybe not everybody hated her, or blamed her entirely for this.

"Hey, i'll try." Ellie acknowledges.

Sophia nods gladly, then focuses her attention elsewhere as she tilts her torso to the side.

"Daniel!" She calls, heeding both the attention of her son and his two other friends who he's playing with, "You wanna learn how to braid hair?"

A repulsive noise comes from his mouth, and Daniel sticks out his small tongue like the average boy would at his age at the reference to partaking in 'female' activities.

"Ew! That's for girls!"

He quickly earns high-pitched laughs from his equally repulsed friends before they both run back off, returning to their sword fighting with their sticks.

Sophia rolls her eyes while she undoes the braid in her hair, "Guess it'll be just us then?"

Ellie gives a petty shrug, "Yeah, I guess it's just us."

* * *

They talked for a while, whether it was reminiscing, sharing opinions, and just going back and fourth on whether the world still had a chance to go back to how it was before. Both Sophia and Ellie doubted it. Needless to say, it didn't matter, because at least out of all the shit this world brought and gave her, whether it was carrying immunity and bringing her into this mess, it too, gave her something good in return.

It gave her Joel.

At least didn't leave her completely empty handed.

Lost in thought, Ellie nonchalantly kicked another stone with her sneaker before she took a seat on the ground in front of her and Joel's fire. Sticking her hands out she exhaled a slow breath, and could now feel the drowsiness dawn on her. Joel's eyes lifted, and when he took Ellie's new appearance he gave her a smile that was accentuated with the glow of the fires whipping flames.

"Different look?" He comments, and he could see Ellie's eyes disregard his observation as they fall down in slight embarrassment.

"Who did that for 'ya?"

Ellie runs a hand nervously down the side of her braid, "Sophia." She mumbles before her eyes look to Joel anxiously, "Why, does it look stupid?"

Joel keeps the authentic smile on his face as he continues to gradually rotate the searing fish over the fire, "It looks nice."

"-It suits you actually," He then quickly adds, and Ellie can't hold back at this as she cracks a meek smile.

"You reckon Sophia will wanna braid mine?" He asks in all the seriousness he could muster, and Ellie's green eyes light up with vigor as she lurches forward, releasing an ostentatious laugh. And fuck, Joel was so grateful to not only hear it.. but to just see it again, even for the slightest moment, meant everything to him.

They than cracked open the disgusting can of beans they both hated but ate regardless, although the fish Joel roasted made up for it. They both chatted a little before it fell completely quiet between them, the sounds of the others drowning it out. Joel watches as Ellie lays down on the sleeping bag for a while, before he tips his chin up to see the sun in the sky. It wasn't getting that late, it was five o' clock at the latest. It wouldn't hurt to take her now, would it?

"Ellie-" Joel says, getting up on his feet and dusting his pants off, "There's somethin' I wanna show you."

"What is it?" She asks as she groggily sits herself up.

_She'll never go if you tell her._

"I ain't tellin' ya till' we get there," He says, before motioning to her bag, "Now grab something else to change in and let's go."

Ellie raises an eyebrow in speculation, but doesn't question it as she picks up her bag hastily, watching as Joel does the same. Sleep would have to wait now as her curiosity only rises when he leads her out of the camp, and towards the area she was walking earlier. What was he up to now?

Surely enough, she quickly finds out, and was bewildered when she's now standing nervously at the edge of the lake while Joel waded into the water slowly, with both his arms stretched out to his sides. Shock set in immediately for Ellie.

No, no, no, she wouldn't go in that water, she couldn't, not after what happened with-

"Ellie-" Joel calls out softly, snapping her back to reality, "You'll be fine, i'm right here, I won't let you drown."

She noticeably flinches at the word drown, and Joel recoils at seeing it, guilt snaps at him. "C'mon, it's not that cold."

"I don't want too—"

They both knew she didn't, but Joel was the only one who knew that no matter what, they couldn't take another risk if she fell in water, or if they needed to get away and she couldn't swim. He wouldn't let the past stop her from focusing on the present, she will learn, and she needs too.

"No, you have to." He replies more sternly than he intends, giving her more of a push of encouragement, "I promise, i'll be right here."

She sighs and her toes sink further into the thick, wet sand. Stop knew she had to stop being so scared, and to just go in the water to finally get over her fear of this already. Besides, she vaguely remembers telling Joel that he'd have to teach her someday. Maybe that day just had to be today.

"Fine." She grumbles out.

Her shoulders drop with a sigh as she kicks off her shoes and her socks. She glances into the water as she slowly steps in, jeans, shirt and all, even still she gasps, and the mud squeezes through between her toes, releasing a muddy cloud around her.

"Ugh.." She mutters under her breath, and she didn't want to go any further, but she knew she had too when she sees Joel waiting patiently.

Eventually, she does continue, as she slowly descends further. Joel makes his way closer, and to the shallower part of the water where she stood frozen now, afraid to move or make a mis-step and fall in completely.

"Now, i'm gonna take you deeper in the water, okay?" He explains, receiving only a nod in return from Ellie. He moves beside her and shes quick to tightly cling to his elbow. Joel flinches slightly at feeling the pressure of her fingernails in his skin.

"You're alright," He constantly reassures as he escorts her through her water, "This isn't so bad now is it?"

The water becomes visibly deeper, and Ellie finds herself wishing she was still on land.

"Now this part here is deep. I'm gon' let you go and you're gon' try and swim."

"Joel-" Ellie begins.

"C'mon, you can do it." He encourages as he begins to move away from her arms.

She clings tighter and with more hesitancy. "No, I can't-"

"You think you can't," he moves away again, "Ellie, you gotta let go."

With that, he slips out of her grip, and Ellie instantly begins to twirl, turn, and twist her body around in a panicky thrash. Her arms flap as they flail and slap the water. Her legs kick repeatedly, but no to avail to keep her afloat. The panic set in real good. Ellie feels the water go in her mouth and nose, and she can taste the foreign water sloshing around in her mouth and filling her ears. Her eyes blink anxiously, her mind going back to when the cloth would cover her face.

"J-Joel!" She calls, and he simply coax's her, "You're alright, you're alright just paddle your legs."

She's choking now, and Ellie's head starts to bob just beneath the water, her legs thrash underneath side to side, left to right, attempting to paddle to keep afloat while her arms stretch out to Joel in desperation.

"Stop it—" she chokes, "Joel! Please!"

"C'mere." He says as he lifts her up and holds her against his chest, supporting her while she caught her breath. Her braid was now soaked along with the rest of her while she latched her arms around his neck, and stuck like stone; she was completely unwilling to move now.

"Go again." He says, making Ellie snort.

"No!" She coughs, "I don't want to drown."

He looks at her with furrowed eyebrows as he frowns, "No you won't, I'm right here with you, nothin's gonna happen."

Her hands slowly unlatch behind his neck. _This was a bad idea._

"Paddle calmly." He instructs, taking her hand in his and softly gliding her through the water. He pulls her several feet before she starts to become familiar with pushing her feet back and forth. She was doing good, doing better. She could do this.

"Use your body weight to balance, and use your arms to move which way you want." He explains, "Move your legs back and forth."

She nervously glances at him, then to the water as she moves her legs forward like he told her, and then she feels as if she was walking through air. Evidently, she gets the hang of it, and her hyperventilating turns into calm breaths as she doggy paddles and flows through the water, in tune with her surroundings, overcoming the fear of the liquid with every minute that passed. For that time, she even allowed herself to forget everything.

Minutes became hours, after Joel and Ellie dunk eachother in the water and splash one another, the warm evening air and sun was already upon them.

Ellie moves her legs back and forth fluidly, watching as Joel tips his chin up to the sky in observation, "It's getting dark, kiddo, we should get back."

She frowns, but nods as she begins to paddle back to shore, with Joel following close behind her. As much as he loved seeing her like this, and getting over her obstacles, they couldn't swim forever. Although, once this was all done and over, they could swim every damn day if she wanted.

"I'm getting good, huh?" She asks, ringing out her soaked braid and Joel smiles with a nod, "Not bad, for a first timer."

"Psht." She mumbles, and she picks up and stalks off with her bag and shoes, going behind a few trees to change, knowing that Joel would do the same and would be waiting for her. Her small, wet bare feet squish over twigs and sticks, and she almost trips in the pitch blackness before she slides off her shirt and jeans quickly, with only now the rising full moon as her personal nightlight.

Shit, it got dark quick.

But she's also quick to change, and Ellie puts on her shoes and zips up her bag when she hears something abruptly, and swiftly rush past a bush next to her, she jerks as she swings her back up and over her shoulders, and that's when she hears the growl following it, growing more distant.

_.. Stalker._

Fuck.. couldn't they catch a break?

Nonetheless, and surprisingly, when Ellie holds her ground to wait for it to burst through the bushes at any moment, it never comes. Only when she hears Joel call out for her following another high-pitched growl, is she now running towards him, leaving her soaked clothes behind.

"Joel!" She calls out as her feet pick up, and before she knows it she bursts through the cover of part shadow to see Joel's bag on the ground, with his revolver too far out of his own reach. He's violently struggling now as the Stalker's partly grown over eyes were glowing red with a profound, unmatched feral desire, it's trashing body presses hard against Joel's, and it's strength was unparalleled.

He had no weapon, not this time, not even an angle or the upper hand to push it from him as it had him backed up roughly against the tree. It's foaming mouth gurgles out growls and snarls as it's jaw snaps together before separating as it tries so desperately to make a bite down on him.

No, no, no-

She hears him call out for her again, and he doesn't even need to say it twice before she's rushing, hard.

"Get the fuck off him!" She growls.

Really, it feels quite slow when she tackles the Runner with all her body weight, effectively taking it down onto her side with her. All she feels is the harsh thump of hitting the ground with her head. Within seconds of her daze the Runner's already overpowered her as it's scrambling on top of her, screaming and wailing this time as she raises her arms to push it off while it tries to snap into her flesh.

And it does.

It's teeth deem to make itself known as it mauls down into the skin on the top of her forearm, gripping right through it as it immediately pulls like a Clicker would, taking a portion of her skin with it. If Ellie didn't scream once it bit her, she knew she did now, because she wails out a groan as the blood from the wound begins to immediately bleed. Desperately, she tries to ignore the flash of heat arising in her as she continues to pry the deranged thing off her.

It felt exactly the same when her and Riley got attacked, now it was happening all over again. Her nerve clenched along with her jaw, and she felt a sharp jolt rise in her spine. Once she hazily sees Joel's wielding his revolver and saw the crack of the flash as the bullet went through the Stalker's head, knocking it onto the ground lifeless before he stomps it into a mush for good measure, does she allow herself to fully feel the now reoccurring shakes come doubled.

She shuffles back with her legs, tears fill her eyes to the brim but she chokes them down while her sharp intakes of breath now try to manage the radiating pain of the bite. _"..You've been bit before Ellie, you're immune- don't be a fucking baby."_

Joel immediately rushes down to her side, unsure of what to say or do when he sees the wound, a dark crimson seeps out of it and rolls down the rest of her arm.

He knows she's immune, but seeing her get bitten like that.. for him? Fuck, it just wasn't the same.

"Jesus- Ellie, are you alright!?" He calls, voice filled with anxious restraint as he double-times to rip part of his sleeve off as he pulls Ellie into him, being quick to wrap the fabric around her injured arm to stop the bleeding.

Ellie twitches at contact when he does so in her brief state of shock, and he's forced to hold her into place until he finishes. Her ears ring like bells and everything is just spinning and vague for a minute. Two seconds ago they were swimming, having a moment of peace, and everything that was harsh and real came back again. It takes Joel several times of calling out to her before she finally gathers some of herself back to answer.

"Ellie, look at me baby, look here." Joel tells her, and her eyes slowly adjust to see the panicked orbs she could make out a mile away.

"I'm okay." She mumbles in reassurance, and Joel pulls her closer into a death grip, putting his chin on her head as he huffs out a breath.

"Don't ever," He says, "Do that again, you understand me?" It's not even that stern sounding, rather just worried. It could have been much worse and if it was Joel would have never been able to fucking live with himself. He's getting that feeling in the back of his throat again.

Ellie nods her head against his chest with a tremble, because despite what he says, she knows he's grateful.

"Can you walk?" He asks, as he grabs her good arm to pull her up to her feet.

Ellie snorts despite the pain flaring, "I'm not a cripple, dumbass." She heaves.

Joel can't help but smile at her comment, and he gets her steady before he reaches down and grabs his bag, and the two make a quick, half-assed dash to camp before anymore came. However, when they finally came closer to the group, that's when it unexpectedly again, the loud growls and screams of not just one, but dozens of Infected coming through the cover of nightfall, no longer in the trees and bushes, but now in their very camp, with the shrieks and yells of the people mixing in with cracks of gunfire following it.

Not long after, all hell just broke loose.


	14. Luck Is Temporary

_**"A man always has two reasons for doing anything: a good reason and the real reason."**_

* * *

It was just fucking hell, in the simplest way to put it.

There was actually just no other way to describe it with how it was, all the screams, gunshots, and infected couldn't have made it any less tragic than it already was. It happened so damned quick, and nobody could even explain as to where they all came from, maybe they migrated, were drawn there from some sort of noise?

It didn't even matter anymore, all that matters now was after quitting the place, was to regroup and recuperate everyone who was half out of their wits, or what was left of them. How could they even feel safe now when it felt like the infected could still come from left or right? They didn't, that's how, it just wasn't safe, and the taunting rustles from the bushes were cacophonous, the people on their guard are elevated with anxiety, unsure if it's the wind of not, but not wanting to find out.

Ellie's in one of the few tents on the makeshift bed, but it's comfortable enough given the circumstance, and Joel's laying down huddling next to her protectively, unwilling to leave. Tommy had came in earlier, begging him to let her rest alone, and to join the others to clean up, gather the bodies, and to form a new plan, but he's isolated from them in rejection. Tommy learns quickly enough, and backs off in understanding, nobody was allowed near her anymore, he remembers. So, Joel just lays there with Ellie pressing next to him, her strong steady breathing lulls Joel, and that little braid in her hair still lays lazily over her shoulder. This little girl has been through too much pain for her own good.

Joel cranes his neck up and carefully leans down, his hand raising her sleeve and lifting the bandage, just to check.. to be sure, please.. don't be worse. And sure enough, it wasn't, the bite was the same hue and look it was a few hours ago, her body doing whatever it has in it to fight it off and heal the broken skin and nerves. It looks awful, and he tisks mentally to himself as he brushes a stray strand of hair out of her face. Fuck, he could've, no, _would've_ died if it weren't for her tackling it onto the ground, willingly letting it sink it's foul teeth into her to give Joel a window. She took this pain for him.. again.

God, he's so grateful and guilty at once that he can't help but pull her sleeping form into him closer, just thankful that she's immune, thankful that at least in him surviving that, the Stalker didn't take her down with it.

He leans down to grab the other blanket and pulls it over her, his knuckles graze her thigh mindlessly, but she twitches even in dead sleep, and Joel flinches, scolding himself, for being so careless, useless, then thinking about leaving her alone with him and being defenseless to help while that fucking bastard touched-

"Joel?"

His eyes snap up like an animal caught in the crossfire, but he relaxes at seeing the medic, who appears much older than he did, his hair was silver grey, almost white in direct sunlight, and more than just a few wrinkles aged his already elder face. The guy must have a lot of experience in his field, and that was something hopeful.

"Yeah, i'm still here." He grumbles.

"Ah, not a problem." He wavers, slowly leaning down onto the other side of Ellie, a small med-kit and clipboard in hand. "May I check on her?"

Joel groans mentally, not really wanting to move away from her, but he forces himself to anyways as he slides a little to the side, his arm still resting down next to Ellie's to assure her in her slumber that he's still there, no matter what; and he's not going to leave.

The elder man immediately gets to work, pulling the blanket from Ellie and then placing a fragile hand on her forehead, nodding.

"No fever. Very good." He announces with a small smile.

Joel watches furtively as he jots a few scribbles on his notepad, before he leans forward again, his fingers going underneath the sides of her jaw, pressing lightly.

"Hmph, her lymph nodes are tender, probably inflamed." He speaks so quietly to himself that he doesn't entirely intend for Joel to hear these mindless rambles he's come to do in his years of work, but he does, and he can almost feel him tense in shock, uncertainty.

"Easy there," The medic assures with a raised hand, "This is good, this means her immunity is acting how it is intended."

Joel sighs deeply, his voice becoming gruff, "Reckon i'll take your word for it."

"I am the medical professional." He notes, gently squeezing the muscles down Ellie's arms, "Should you not take mine I suggest to not take any at all."

He squeezes her forearms gently lower, being gentle around her bite, and Joel's eyebrow raise, "What in the hell are you doin'?"

"I am checking for lactic acid in her muscles," He explains in a docile tone, "It is a common symptom in bite victims."

"She's immune." Joel explains, and the elder shrugs, "It is still my duty to check her and make sure she's receiving proper care."

His hand continues to go lower, checking each and every muscle before then checking her pulse, which seemed normal, and strong. Once his hands go to check her legs, Joel feels himself quickly grow uneasy, his nerves tensing before his mind flashes hazily like it usually does when this abnormal, indescribable feeling pangs him, taking over, like something bad was going to happen to Ellie, and that he needed to now protect her from every damned thing.

His hand outstretches over Ellie, and he immediately slides back close to her, molding into her side.

_"_Don't._" _He grits out firmly, and it's not even harsh, just full of that unprecedented warning.

The old man doesn't think twice before he leans back, his hands raise up in goodwill, "Forgive me, my hands are not near her anymore."

Joel lets himself relax back into the pillow, and he pulls Ellie closer, like he's the only one who is okay look at her, to be near her. He just doesn't want anybody to fucking _breathe_ near her or look at her the wrong way anymore after what she's suffered through and Christ if they do he swears, what he wouldn't do-

"You are odd." The doctor states in keen observation, "One minute you are calm, the next, different," His eyes shift downward, "At least when it comes to her."

"Interestin' observation." Joel mutters through a slow breath, trying to let the fiery part of his mind come at ease.

"You love her a great deal." The doctor notes innocently, the pencil in his hand gliding across the faded paper.

Joel lets out a low laugh in spite of him. He had_ no_ clue.

"More than you'll ever understand," He mumbles, "And ever know."

"I had someone like that once," The doctor reconciles, "I think I can understand."

The room is quiet for short seconds, until the doctor perks up, his eyes blinking quickly, before they fall, seeming saddened.

"Ah, I forgot, now that i'm done here, I have the others to attend to-"

"Others?" Joel asks.

"-A woman and her child were bitten back at the camp." The man explains gently, and he could see the look on Joel's face falter.

_Sophia and Daniel._

"God—" Joel breathes, just shaking his head in disbelief. Nothing good could survive anymore, nothing innocent.

He feels his stomach drop even further and he sighs, acceptance quickly washing over to null the reality of it.

"She is a lucky girl." The doctor states quietly, the flap of the tent opening, "But she will not always be.. take care of her."

And with that, he exits, leaving Joel incredulous in thought, a sleeping Ellie still nestling next to him.

"I'm trying." He finally murmurs after some moments, his arm finding it's place around Ellie again, and he allows his eyes to close.

And he knows the man didn't hear what he said.

But it doesn't matter. And eventually, some few hours later, Joel's in a deep sleep next to Ellie, because shit he was laying there all day long, and he wasn't willing to leave her side for a second. Darkness now takes over the sky, and when Ellie awakens, she blinks her sunken eyes open, seeing the glow of the fire through the tents fabric, hear the voices of people talking outside echoing; but she doesn't dare leave the tent.

Her nerves settle once she realizes the pain in her arm has subsided, and she feels normal, but she want to see the horrid bite, because now it's going to be another scar on her that she has to wear, but they were nothing compared to the psychological ones she supposes.

She feels a body next to her and she flips over to see Joel laying on his back, his eyes shut and his chest rising and falling calmly, and she knows that he's been like that ever since she got in here, whenever that was. Everything subconsciously bothers her, and it calls her because she feels like he needs to wake up to stop the thoughts and terrible feelings from coming back. And it's only when she nudges Joel several times, relieving him of sleep does she finally begin to regret it.

"Ellie?" Joel starts with a soft, groggy voice, now already pulling muscles in his sudden haste to jolt upward.

His eyes then narrow in an avid attempt to look at her in the dark, "Jesus, you're okay-"

She doesn't even think twice when she puts her head on his chest for comfort, and she feels an arm go over her as Joel breathes out a shaken, relieved sigh. All she wanted right now was just to be reminded that both of them were okay, they always were, and always will be.

"Course' I am, dumbass." She mumbles into him, and when she feels his heartbeat settle, a part of her does too.

"How're you feelin'?" Joel replies, and Ellie shrugs.

"Super." She lies sarcastically, but even Joel could see that. "What about everyone else?"

Joel's eyes shift to look at the top of the tent, "Okay," He mumbles, "All things considerin'."

"What about Sophia and Daniel?" She asks after a short moment, and Ellie feels Joel freezes, unsure of what to say to her.

"They're gone, aren't they?" She says, and it's like she fucking knows.

And she's right, and it becomes even more silent. And another moment longer passes before she feels Joel's chin on top of her head nod.

"Yeah.." He affirms, albeit guiltily.

God, what can he say? Can he even say anything to make it better?

No, he can't, damn it.

Because ever since they left the settlement in the first place everything's been down hill, all because of these damned Fireflies who couldn't give Ellie a break because she was born with this immunity, which seemed more like a curse than a blessing. But right now, all he thinks he can do to make everything numb is to just hold her close against him, using himself as a means to comfort her despite her evident strength, just like he did back in Winter. Fucking Winter.

It's too quiet. Unsurprisingly, Joel dreads the absence of sound, but it's the type of absence that seems needed while the feelings in the air settle.

"Why is everything so shitty?" Ellie finally whispers, her tone is so much more bland, but she sounds beyond confused, like she's still unable to understand everything going on. Joel shifts underneath her, his head going side to side, genuinely just as much as a crossroads as her.

"I wish I knew." He confesses despondently, and Ellie no longer says anything in response.

It's as if that was all she needed to hear before she's back into sleep within minutes, now leaving Joel the one awake.

Awake and thinking to himself, that he really did wish he knew why everything good goes to absolute shit.


	15. Frigid

_**"Nothing burns quite like the cold." **_

* * *

Ellie's running, hard, and the ground beneath her is nothing but a blurred line, and her cramping legs just want to stop but damn it she just can't.

All of this better be worth it.

Since this started, it's been day in and day out of nonstop running, just like it had been when Ellie was first stuck with Joel over a year ago, and God, she was just getting so tired. Ellie wishes her and Joel were back at Tommy's settlement, settling down, beginning to live easier. Because, even at her age there was so much she could be doing instead of sprinting through the damned forest, fearing for her life while the sounds of yells, provoking, and gunshots crack from afar.

"Joel, where the fuck are you?" Ellie mumbles.

Somewhere, he has to be somewhere, she just doesn't know for sure because she got separated from him when she took that fall down that hill, reenacting what happened when they first had to run from Hunters, although this time Joel wasn't around to help her.

There was so much gunfire coming from every single direction that its throwing Ellie's sense of direction off, but at least she knows that he probably made it past them alright, and the only thing he was going to do now was look for her, just like she is for him.

Tommy and his group cluster got scattered everywhere, long gone now and who fucking knows if that's the last time if her and Joel will ever see them again. Everything was instantaneous, just a few quick shots coming from the trees, and those four in the group got shot down, and within seconds the sounds of boots crunching leaves and people rushing didn't give anybody enough damn time.

Everything got ditched and everyone just.. ran. Like the point of staying together was never a point to begin with, and the worst part was that they hadn't been together very long, and they all got pulled apart again already. To think, they were so close to making to Louisiana all together, they finally made it after three weeks of struggling and constant obstacles.

Profanities build up in Ellie's head, and side tracking questions weren't helping her concentrate on everything around her. The assholes who were shooting at her and Joel stopped, at least for her when she fell down that hill, they weren't close enough to see her, but there were probably more beyond them. They always had the stray Hunters, walking aimlessly about waiting to catch them.

Her, Joel and the others are what are considered as stragglers, or known in this case, tourists.

Ellie can't see as she's heaving through her sprint, the thick bushes slapping across her face, forcing her to close her eyes, until she felt herself wham in a halt against a form which knocks her to the ground, snatching the air right out of her.

Opening her eyes with a low cough, she can see that it's not Joel, but a Hunter, and not just one, but two. Shit—

"Found one!" He yells, and the other one laughs as he gruffly picks up Ellie by her sleeve before she could even slide away in a reaction.

He immediately starts to drag her towards the rest of their group who got her separated from Joel and the rest of the group in the first place. They were going to gut her, or, or, shit it'll be something terrible and gruesome like that. Maybe they're just like the Hunters back in Boston who put a legless man's corpse as a trophy on the front of that military caravan. She was so glad Joel torched that thing.

"Let go dickhead!" Ellie snaps, struggling against his grip.

The man holding her snorts. "Not a chance, princess."

Ellie knows her switchblade is in her front pocket, but she won't have enough time to fuck it up. And if she does manage to screw this up then the consequences that come with her mistake is not something she wants to even think about. The man's arm is tightly around her neck as he forcefully pulls her, and the other man was to his right. This was the chance, and hell, Ellie doesn't want to make it to where the other Hunters are waiting.

_Fuck these guys._

Ellie's abruptly lowers her hand to pull out her switchblade just as her teeth bite as hard as they can allow, and the pressure is just enough to make the mans grip on her loosen and release her. The knife soon after jabs down into his leg, eliciting a growl of pain as Ellie spins around, pulling the knife back out and slashing at his throat before he could do so much as raise a hand in defense.

The blood comes out in a faint spray before he falls over a dead weight, and it feels slow as always but in real-time it's happening, going so fast. Finally, she looks and can see clearly as the other man looks at her in shock, still trying to process it; but Ellie's already running full force at him now.

"Crazy fucking-!" He growls, unsuccessful to get the upper-hand before Ellie leaps right into him, her knife aiming for his neck.

Although, the man's hand is just fast enough and he grabs Ellie's wrist, awkwardly stretching her arm out to the side before he purposely falls himself forward, knocking her right to the ground as he now hovers above her, with the pocketknife now just out of reach.

A strong pair of hands go around her neck, and she can feel the air squeezing out of her little by little, but she's forcing herself to stay concentrated, to look for a way out. She's done this too many times before to lose like this. No, she wouldn't let it happen.

"I'm gonna fuckin' kill you bitch!" He snaps in aggravation, and Ellie's small hands go to grab his, trying to pry them off of her but with no success.

That's when she forcefully throws her bent leg up, and her knee gives him a sudden force which lands straight in his groin, drawing a loud groan of pain from him as he naturally rolls off her. Ellie sucks in a sharp breath of air, but doesn't waste anymore time as she scrambles through the dirt and grabs her butterfly knife, gripping it tight as she flips herself over.

_Fuck. _The guy's already up and he's storming back towards her to finish her off. He tries to lower himself again and his hands extend out to grab her neck for the second time, but Ellie doesn't flinch as the knife behind her back slips out from behind and darts up, the tip cutting right through and embedding deep in the bottom of his chin.

It's brutal, because he's not dead right away, he makes an odd gurgling noise while his hands still try to grab her but now it's weakened and pointless. Ellie's eyes are wide like an alarmed animal as the man is frozen in shock while she has the knife in her hand, burrowed in the bottom of his face.

Panicked, she jerks the knife forcefully down his chin and all the way to his throat, effectively cutting him inches open. The blood doesn't hesitate to rush out, and the man slowly slumps forward on her, the blood from his freshly gouged neck coats the entire upper-half of her shirt; some of it manages to stain her face and she tries to process all that just happened. But holy shit, she's alive! She killed them and she's okay and that's all that matters now.

"Piece of shit." Ellie breathes, and the sudden whiff of blood makes her cheeks sour.

Shoving the body on the ground beside her, she's fast to recover, and pulls the knife out that's buried deep in the poor bastards face. Hastily, Ellie then gets herself back up on her feet, catching her breath slowly along with it. She needs to find Joel.

And she starts trying as she starts to jog around, being mindful, and as quiet as she possibly can while her backpack lazily bobs on her back and the leaves crack beneath her feet, but who is she kidding, it's going to be a pain in the ass to find him, if she does. She can't yell, can't call his name, can't really do anything other than try to track the direction he went in from her fall, and hope he'd be somewhere. No way he would have gone anywhere far without her.

That's when she hears more footsteps coming from the top of the hill. Goddammit, there were more coming already.

Taking cover behind the one of the trees, Ellie grips her switchblade along her side, ready to make a move. If these guys were wanting to kill her, she'd at least try her damnedest to have the upper-hand first. So she waits with an anxious heart as the tree bark pressed against her back, waiting until the sound of those boots draw closer and at the right time. They continue, and the sound becomes louder. One more step. Just one more.

And that one step forward is what makes Ellie lunge herself back out of cover, her knife in her hand and she's ready to charge, but she halts when she sees that it's Joel, standing there, looking at her in horror but with relief. There was so much blood on Ellie and he wasn't sure what to say when her green eyes blink at him in surprise. It has to be her lucky day, because she wouldn't know where to go without him.

Tucking the blade away in her knife and putting it back in her pant pocket, Ellie shakes her head. "You scared the shit out of me, Joel!"

Joel then notices the two bodies before gazing back to her, but he feels the need to ask anyway.

"Why in the hell do you have so much blood on you?" He asks in a loud whisper, coming closer.

"Ask those assholes." She shrugs, motioning to the bodies, but she's surprised when Joel tries to smudge away the red splotches on her face.

"Joel!" She detests as she swats his hand, backing away, "Dumbass, it's not mine! I'm okay!"

Joel raises an eyebrow, "Okay with walkin' around with all that blood on you?"

But God, Ellie could slaughter a hundred men if she wanted to, be covered from head to toe with their blood and Joel will still continue to look at Ellie and hold her like she was the most innocent person in the world. Because in his eyes, she is.

Although, the moment is short-lived of course, and more gunshots ring out overhead as the sounds of their bullets draw near. The birds mindlessly perching in the trees take off in flight. They were probably shooting now as their form of taunting, because Hunters always enjoy the sheer thrill in chasing after terrified people.

"Can you run?" He asks, already grabbing Ellie's hand, and she nods in affirmation.

"Yeah."

It becomes yet another jog up another steep hill, although this time Ellie doesn't let herself become fatigued or grant herself another tumble as her heels dig into the mud. A part of her for a bare moment casually thinks about how once this is all over, maybe her and Joel could go hiking together, minus all the infected and Hunters. Or would that remind him too much of Sarah? Just because he accepts her death, doesn't mean he wants to be reminded about it. Each thought she thinks about comes and goes with every step she takes.

And they must have lost them, they had too, because after a good half hour or so of running the cannonade fades out into pure silence, and all that remains are the sounds of the returning birds and lulling environment. But there was no homes or shelter for miles, no cliff-sides to use for cover and it was getting darker already.

Shit, they couldn't risk to keep running either, especially if they couldn't see where they were going. For all they know they could go backwards and end up right in the middle of the Hunters camp, so they'd have to stay out in the open, while the dark clouds looming the distance draw closer, taught, intimidating, and more than ready to unveil itself.

Joel notices this, and tries to find a nice spot with cover in the bushes, but still under the slight shade and cover of the pine trees. It seems safe enough, but well, that's all they got and Joel's not sure if he can say the same for Tommy and the rest of the group, he can only hope that they're safe somewhere too, being shielded from the heavy downpour that will follow the clouds, which are imminent to let the water out.

Nonetheless, Joel knew being here was indefinitely safer than being out in the open, completely exposed to the increasing cold and open to be seen. They both agree to sleep here for the night, and Ellie quickly finds herself asleep with Joel keeping watch, but the moment the rain started to fall, Joel knew it wasn't the best decision, but this gave them more of a chance than anything. The rain finds it's way to maze through the leaves land on their clothes and faces. It's not just cold anymore, but it can only grow worse as darkness finally swallows, and the wind chill carries the already pouring rain with an added shiver.

Eventually, Joel forces himself slowly falling asleep regardless of the rain coming down. These storms didn't normally last long, and he was certain it would die down soon. There was no decent cover for a long stretch. The ambient sounds of rain and thunder can only add to lulling Joel into rest while Ellie lays besides him, but she only makes it about a good ten minutes before she wakes up, the warmth seeping away from the inside of her jacket.

"Joel?" She says, sliding closer.

His eyes open and he turns himself over, the water sliding down his clothes, "What's up, kiddo?" He asks, now feeling her pressing close behind him.

"I-I'm cold." Ellie states groggily, shifting slightly, "And the thunder's freaking me o-out."

Joel nods in understanding and pulls her into his chest without question, wrapping her around in his own jacket, to which Ellie's shaking slightly subsides.

"You ain't afraid of infected, but you're afraid of a little thunder?" He muses, and Ellie roughly nudges him, a slight tremble following.

"Shut up, i-it's scary."

Joel snorts out a chuckle, despite the shitty conditions they're in. And it only takes a few minutes before Joel looks down and notices that Ellie's already dozed off. She's shaking a little less, although it's still there, but her breaths are deep breath, and steady, and that's when Joel realizes, that with him, what is everything and the only thing he lives for and could ever care about, the one thing the world needs to possibly get better was curled up against him.

And in this moment, despite all the continuous rain and his now increased shaking, it was okay, and most importantly, she was okay. He finds comfort in her presence next to him, knowing she's with him. Because, what the world wants doesn't matter anymore, she was in Joel's care, and he wasn't going to ever let the one last thing that keeps him alive get taken away from him. He wasn't going to let her get hurt badly again, he wasn't going to let her leave his side. It's becoming an incomprehensible love, a sort of possessive care he's taken of her, he's become viciously co-dependent. They were a duo. Plain and simple.

Either way, to him it doesn't matter because she's what ties him to the ground now and that's all he knows. He observes her, completely taken aback at realizing that they've been on the road for months now, it feels like longer, but in a way it hasn't. The day's go by so fast because of their travelling and Joel revels in the thought of this being over already, finishing off what's left of the Fireflies and never having to travel far away again.

He feels the ground beneath him starting to get wet, and the raindrops splash against his face, but he does his best to ignore it.

Instead, he thinks about teaching her how to fish. Would she like that? Maybe she'd like for him to teach her how to dance some more. Ellie actually loves dancing. Joel remembers coming back home after a long supply run with the group and just seeing her lulling around the room with that damned stereo blasting, which somehow Tommy managed to fix even with that thick skull of his. Fuck, you know, he just wants to teach her things besides how to kill a man a dozen different ways.

That wasn't too much to ask for, was it?

It wasn't after all they've put up with, and Joel spends the next hour wondering, thinking about what life could really end up being once the last of their running, and their journey's were over. How Ellie was able to come back so quickly from more harshness this world had to offer. Because looking at her sleep so soundly it's like the months of wear and tear on her just wash right off. He then vaguely wonders about Tommy and his group.. are they okay? They sure as hell better be.

All the thoughts distract him from the increasing cold, and it's only when he hears footsteps in the distant, accompanied with voices, does reality hit him. The ground beneath them is soaking now, and the mud begins to make them sink a little. And with Hunters back, moving now wouldn't help a damn thing. Damn it all.

"-Think that brat and that other prick are still together?" One asks.

"They might, not sure of the rest of them though," The other shrugs, "-But I swear I saw her little ass bookin' it right down the hillside a while ago."

"Your hunch better be right dude," His friend replies, "We all ain't out here all night in this cold to just walk around."

All? Fucking hell.

"Hey, we came prepared!" He defends, "Besides, if we catch at least one of them, Tom says he'll cut us more rations."

"Bout' time that bastard stops cheapin' out anyways.." The second Hunter replies, his flashlight briefly flickering, "So let's split up and start huntin'."

The other can only laugh in laid-back response, "I bet your ass two days worth of rations I find a fuckin' tourist before your stupid ass."

"You ain't gonna be callin' me stupid when it's _your_ stupid ass that's starving!" He bites back, and the other one shrugs him off, not the least bit intimidated.

At that, Joel feels that acquainted, sour anger, but he can't bring himself to feel anything less, or do more about it as he cautiously, albeit quietly tried to nudge Ellie from her sleep, and it's only when he moves in suit with her does he feel the cold wash over him. Now they're soaked too, getting slicked with mud. They need to move before things got worse than they already could be. Ellie does open her eyes, but automatically flinches at the change in temperature.

"Fuck-" She mumbles, and Joel's voice becomes audible only to her. "Those Hunters are comin' back for a night scouting, we need to go."

He withdraws his hand and Ellie nods, but it's only once their up on their feet, trying to be light as air as they sneak ahead, does Ellie feel the need to let her teeth chatter, but the fights the urge to make a peep as she now lugs around a soaking wet backpack over her shoulders. It was not helping, not one bit.

The man chuckles again, but he sounds closer. It's proven to be true when the bright radius of his flashlight shines through the bushes and past a few trees. Alarmed, Joel puts an arm around Ellie and they press themselves against the damp tree bark, forcing them to keep still as their shoes sink and trudge in the thick mud. And despite freezing and being covered in dirt, Ellie inhales the air through her nose, and she then innocently realizes that she enjoys the smell of rain, that, and it washed most of the blood off her.

The flashlight fades out, and Joel signals Ellie to move forward, but it was a big fucking mistake.

It's too dark that Joel doesn't notice a branch sunken in the ground, and with a sickening crunch it snaps on the weight of his boot, and Joel mentally curses himself, and he can feel Ellie scolding him as she tenses. They definitely need to be fast now.

"The hell was that?" The Hunter growls over the rain, his ears in touch with all sounds but the downpour.

"What's what, you idiot?" The other one asks, walking over next to him.

Both of their lights flash again through the bushes, and Joel and Ellie stay in place. _Don't fucking see.. just don't fucking see._

"I heard a fuckin' noise," The other explains, huffing as he wipes his nose, "Just over there."

His friend laughs at him as he gives him a confident push forward, "Then go check it out, dumbass."

Joel tenses, and his mind is now frantic to think.. of something, something to get rid of them, quietly.

"Fine, you radio it in and have the group push." His friend replies, and along with the voice of static, the boots draws closer.

The bastard was close to catching them too, but with the quick toss of a large rock to the side, it whacks against one of the trees, effectively drawing the Hunter's attention, and his light away from them.

"We know that's you, you fuckin' tourists, come on out!" He growls roughly.

The man on the radio expresses annoyance. "-I said push the damn group forward and quick, we think they're in this area-"

Joel turns his head to Ellie, his voice remaining low. "Don't move, I'm gonna take them out quietly."

Ellie nods her head with a following shiver, she's getting miserable from the wind and rain. "Hurry, and be careful." She instructs.

Joel doesn't need to think twice before he nods and slowly crouches off into the shadows. With Ellie forcing herself to stay put despite her wanting to help, but it was Joel's call. The cold is taunting her just as much as the Hunters are, so she starts to think about a nice fire, the ones her and Joel used to make and tell stories by it, lost in the moments of laughter and each other's company. They've come such a long way..

It's a few minutes, and by now Ellie's so caught up in the cold she doesn't hear dreadful footsteps coming back until it sounds like they're all of three inches away from her. Sucking in a breath, she cranes her neck away and ever so slightly shifts over, until the presence vacates; for a moment-

Because without warning, an arm comes up on the opposite side, firmly gripping Ellie by the wrist as he snaps her out of cover.

"You're terrible at hiding!" He boasts, and Ellie immediately struggles against his grip.

"Get off you fuck!" She snaps, and she's slipping in his grasp but it's not enough.

"Nick! Where are you? I caught one of em'!" The Hunter smiles, and Ellie then bites down on his hand, which deems effective as always because it makes him hiss out a curse in both agitation, and pain before he lets go.

Ellie is about to call out for Joel as she storms forward, but his other hand grabs the hood of her jacket and pulls, effectively making it tug against her which makes her choke on the words as he now forcefully holds her back.

"You're a rowdy little girl, aren't you?" He laughs, and Ellie can feel herself starting to choke as he pulls back harder.

Her hands fumble for her zipper and quickly she gets it off along with her backpack, the cold air sends shocks up her arms. and she doesn't even make it two steps when the Hunter shoves her forward, making her land right in the mud, further greeted by what the weather has to offer.

"Killing you is gonna be the funnest thing I've done in ages." He threatens, voice bitter.

But it's also the last thing he says before Ellie flinches down at a loud gunshot going off, following the sound of a body dropping to the ground behind her. She shifts in the mud, feeling another chill as she tries to get up, but she's greeted by a familiar pair of hands helping her on her feet.

"Ellie, are you alright?" Joel asks softly with an arm on her shoulder, and Ellie nods in acknowledgement. "Yeah, thanks for saving my ass-"

"TOURISTS!" Another Hunter screams, alerting the others.

Shit, shit! They're fucking here already!

"Don't thank me yet." Joel replies, grabbing her hand to tug her along, but not before she swiftly snatches her bag, ditching only her jacket.

And a part of her almost wishes she took it, because now they're running frantic, with only Joel guiding her through trees and bushes while bullets whiz through the rain and ricochet off trees. It's dark and God, they could probably die but all Ellie can feel right now is her whole body becoming slow the more they run.

They run, and run, and run and it doesn't stop because if they do they both now they're dead. Thick, slick mud collects and builds up on their shoes to make them feel so much heavier than they are, but Joel forces them to keep going, to just keep going. They have, no, _need_ to get away, there has to be a way out.

Joel tries to navigate while his ears chime in like a phantom over the crashing of thunder and the splattering of rain. The Hunters continuous taunts and threats carry through the howling wind, along with their bullets. Fuck, at least the darkness was half on their side.

"YOU GOT NOWHERE TO GO!" Yet another repeats, they seem far behind, but the wind is carrying it everywhere. It's almost like they're surrounded.

The guns fire off into the air again, and Ellie tries to keep her wits as she battles this and her freezing ass.

"YOU'RE OUTNUMBERED, STOP RUNNIN'!"

Joel ignores the situation around them and can see how miserable Ellie even in the dim light of night.

"We'll get out of here." He reassures her, "-And find someplace warm."

Ellie can't help but laugh in spite of herself growing tired and her skin pinching all over, "I hope you're right."

"-DELAYING THE INEVITABLE!"

Joel thinks they're getting away but the voices still sound just as close, it's only when the feeling of his feet coming off the end of a slip, steep hill do those thoughts go away, and all he can hear is Ellie curse before they roll, and they roll for seconds until they reach flat ground, smacking to a stop.

Ellie sputters out yet another curse as she writhes in the mud. She fell again, she fucking fell again, damn it. But at least it wasn't bullets instead, and some of her bag cushioned the fall. But the pain gets worse and lets the frigid consume her.

Willingly, she uses her hands to brace herself as she pushes herself back up, taking her a lot longer than it usually does. She feels so fucking weak now, and her tremors are twofold.

"Joel?!" She hoarsely calls out, seeing a form getting back up on his feet, he looks hurt too.

"DOWN THE HILL, THEY WENT DOWN THE FUCKING HILL!"

Ellie can't even ask before he grabs her hand again, and he looks determined.

"We can't stop, c'mon." He says, and it comes out resilient as he grabs her along. They both know things aren't looking good, but they say nothing.

But they can't go down like this, not after how far they've come, after all that-

He can feel some of their flashlights skimming across their back, and he tenses, forcing himself to run faster, and Ellie pushes herself to keep her pace with him.

"IT'S SEVENTEEN TO TWO— GIVE THIS SHIT UP!"

Another wave of bullets whir by, and Joel can feel them so close. The brief second their flashlights lose them is the second Joel steers far off to the left into a sight of thick bushes because fuck that was their only chance, and God Joel hopes it's a good one as he then pulls him and Ellie down into them harshly to stop. All the sound of the heavy rain is able to masks their steps, and it's only when the Hunters are ten feet away, does he hope to God it was enough.

"Come on out!" One calls, and it's challenging. But it's a dare Joel doesn't wants to defy.

So now they're back down in mud with the rain slapping down on the Earth and on their clothes, and Ellie's doing more than just shivering now, because all she has on now is a shirt with no sleeves and jeans, trying her hardest to not make an ounce of noise as they're huddled down low as they can get, the nightfall and bushes covering them while the sounds of Hunters sloshing in the puddles march by.

It was hell, it was torment, it was painful to hide in the cold and soak in the mud, not knowing where they all are. But if one even so much as saw them-

"We know you're here!" One yells boastfully, "Make it easy for us!"

Ellie twitches at the cold sucking away whatever warmth is left on her skin, and Joel cranes his neck back and can see that even in the dim moonlight her lips are starting to turn blue while her teeth chatter. Immediately, he opens the sides of his jacket, pulling her against his chest while he wraps it around her despite himself being cold too. Ellie can't acknowledge him with words as she feels the slight intake of warmth coming from him, so she only presses herself further against him, mumbling a thanks into his chest, all while praying, hoping to fucking God that they're not caught.

And they don't, but seconds become minutes, and with every minute that passes the colder it gets. They're soaked to the bone, quivering against each-other as Joel tries his best to keep Ellie warm, but they don't move, they don't dare make a sound even though the raging rain could muster their voices.

And the Hunters only come back after their footsteps fade off into the distance, and only they could handle the cold, because they are prepared for it. It's still a damned miracle they haven't found them yet because the whispering of leaves and the flashes of lightening carry them off elsewhere, but it's becoming one-part luck and one-part frozen.

And it takes a long while before the Hunters are gone.

"Nothing?!" A man asks, and Joel faintly hears them re-group.

"Fuckers made off, we were so close-"

"We'll have to catch em' by morning." Another says with a shrug, "Besides, I'm fuckin' tired anyways."

"True that." His friend says, and the other waves them off.

"Alright, stop your bitching and moaning, let's go."

But even after they leave, Ellie and Joel can't find the energy in themselves to move. Mud coats their clothes everywhere, it's heavy, and the rain continues to slap down on them. Ellie's frozen against Joel's face, pale, and worst of all:

She's not moving anymore.

When Joel finally notices, he thinks she's fallen asleep in pure exhaustion and tries to shake her. He waits for a second for her eyes to open, but the cruel reality comes full force at him when he realizes that her eyes are staying shut. No, no, no,-

"Ellie?" Joel shivers out, shaking her in sync with his own bodies trembles, "Babygirl, we gotta go-"

Nothing. Dreadful nothing.

"Ellie?" Joel says again, and it's pleading now, he grabs her hands but he almost recoils at how cold they are. "C'mon-"

Still fucking nothing.

Joel musters himself the energy to retain a solid grip on her against him, and his hands cup hers as he brings them to his mouth, his lips brushing against her fingers as he quickly blows hot air onto them, each breath sputters out takes a bit more from himself but he just doesn't care.

"No, no, don't do this-" He whispers between breaths, and it's both an agonizing question and a mournful statement.

She's silent, not responsive, and she's still not moving because her lips are beyond blue and Joel feels the freeze coming to take him but all he can feel is his throat clenching. This was just a stupid fucking idea and he wants to cry, to break down because she's not awake and he can't feel her breathing anymore.

"Don't do this to me, baby, c'mon." Joel says, and he's shaking his head, still trying to do something, fuck, anything to keep her warm, "Not again-"

He wants to cry, to breakdown in the mud and dirt but what good will it do, they're fucked and he knows it. Ellie's just limp against him with hardly a pulse, and she's on the verge dying if she hasn't already and he can feel it. But he can't let her down again, he can't let this happen.. he promised, he promised.

His attempts don't last long, the exhaustion pitted with the bitter frost encase's itself around Joel last, and he feels his hands grow fully numb from the air in trying to keep Ellie's covered, and with everything he gives to try to warm up Ellie his body just weighs out, and he's trying to give whatever he fucking has to offer, just in turn that she doesn't go, of all things.. not like this.

"Don't leave me here like this." He shudders out, and he wants to keep himself upright, to keep her warm. He wants to carry her himself but he just doesn't have the energy anymore, he's exhausted, weak, numb. All he's able to do is hold Ellie against him, muttering in her hair, feeling guilty, angry, pitiful that it has to end this way.

Because not long after, the coldness took them both.

* * *

**The Hardest Road continues in Chapter 16.**


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